Jordan Wants To Olympic-Compete With Horses Jordan has kindly agreed to bring home an equestrian gold medal for Britain from a nonspecific future Olympic game, but only on two conditions: 1) She has to be able to use the horse her husband just got her, and 2) The horse has to be a female with silicone implanted all along its nipple-line to make it beautiful like her. The horse is a male now, but several veterinarians have assured us if the steed gets sex changed now it'll still have plenty of time to make a recovery before anyone has to put it's name on a roster down in ol' Beijing. If those two requirements are met, assuming they are not 100% fabricated, it pretty much guarantees England a horse-related gold medal for the first time since Prince Harry accidentally won one when he was seen by judges trotting around the high-jump parking lot in Athens four years ago. By the way, Jordan, a woman famous for something or other, seriously did mention competing in the Olympics with the horse her husband just got her. Now if she could just finish coordinating the horse's natural jumping ability with that of the pole vault they'd really sport a chance.