What’s the first thing that springs to mind if I mentioned ‘Public Parks’? If you answered ‘paedophiles’, then it looks like you’re in agreement with the California State Legislature. And you’re also a bit of a weirdo – take a couple of steps back.
Michael Jackson’s legacy will never die. No, it’s not because of his music, or because of his groundbreaking music videos, or his strange melty-face, or his weird white sparkly wanking glove that he wore out in public. No, if one Californian Assemblyman gets his way, his whole 2,500 acre Neverland ranch could be made into a giant public park. Which would make it possibly the only public park in the world that comes complete with its own giraffe enclosure, amusement park, ‘numerous statues of children’ (according to Wikipedia that is), floral clock and a gruesomely off-putting sense of lingering improper conduct. Hurrah!
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You know what the best thing about Dr Conrad Murray’s manslaughter charge is? Nobody is happy about it.?
The Jackson family? Not happy. They wanted Murray to faces charges of murder following Michael Jackson‘s death, and think that manslaughter is just a slap on the wrist. Murray? Not happy. He says that he procured the heavy duty anaesthetic that killed Michael Jackson legally, and that he was doing everything he could to wean Michael off it.
Us? Also not happy. Because now it means we’re going to have more Michael Jackson nonsense shoved down our throat until the end of poxy time. Yeah, thanks a lot for dying Michael Jackson, you big sod.
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Bored of Michael Jackson yet? No? Really? What’s wrong with you? Well, OK, it’s probably a good thing that you’re not.
Because he’s still everywhere. Not in an omniscient, Jesusy kind of way, you understand – Michael Jackson is everywhere because people are still thwumping on about whether or not his death was down to manslaughter. There’s a chance that authorities will decide it is soon – and if charges are brought against him, Dr Conrad Murray has said that he’s ready to surrender himself to the police.
Obviously it’s far too early to speculate about the type of sentence that Murray would receive if he was found guilty of Michael Jackson’s manslaughter. Although, needless to say, it’s bound to include at least 30 minutes inside a locked room with Joe Jackson and his whippin’ belt.
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By now, you’re probably right to assume that nobody is ever going to shut up about Michael Jackson’s death, ever.
Yes, he’s been dead since last June. But, the way things are going, there’s always going to be something for people to froth on about. First there was Michael Jackson’s death, then there was his silly golden coffin, then that creepy film of his – and now there’s the fact that an amended death certificate confirms Michael Jackson’s cause of death as homicide.
You’re also probably right to assume that this is the first thing of Michael Jackson’s since his death that Jermaine Jackson won’t try and take undue credit for. But who knows, eh? He does seem to love doing that an awful lot.
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It’s been close to half a year, but the question still remains: what killed Michael Jackson? Was it drugs?
Was it stress? Was it drugs? Was it financial strain? Or drugs? Drugs? Was it that giant dose of medical-grade anaesthetic he was given right before he died? Could that have anything to do with Michael Jackson’s death? Anyone?
In the end, though, it doesn’t matter what we think. But it does matter what Janet Jackson thinks, because a) Michael Jackson was her brother and b) she’s got a greatest hits album out that she needs to plug. And Janet Jackson is pointing the finger squarely at Michael Jackson’s doctor.
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Michael Jackson’s death has now taken a highly sinister turn thanks to this manslaughter investigation.
It means Michael Jackson didn’t just die. Someone might have killed him. Accidentally. And probably on Michael Jackson’s orders. So it’s not a good time to be Dr Conrad Murray, the man who possibly followed Michael Jackson’s instructions and gave him the drugs that killed him. Boo to Dr Conrad Murray, the unconvicted, uncharged potential follower of Michael Jackson’s specific drug-based requests!
Anyway, police have raided Dr Conrad Murray’s home and office again. Twice more and Murray gets his own reality show. That’s the law.
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You’ve probably spent the last week fretting about the Michael Jackson death coverage becoming less oppressively ubiquitous.
But relax! Michael Jackson is still the only thing that anybody wants to see, hear, read or think about – the stories just needed a new angle to keep things fresh. So here’s the good news – Michael Jackson’s death is now being treated as a criminal investigation, with Michael’s cardiologist being investigated on suspicion of manslaughter!
Hooray! Hopefully this investigation will fill the journalistic gap between now and the moment when Michael Jackson’s kids hit puberty and go completely off the titting rails! Exciting!
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