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Azealia Banks Samples Aaliyah On Pretty Boring New Song (Listen Here!)

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Azealia Banks is attractive, ballsy and is responsible for some outrageously fun tunes. 212 was a thrilling slice of pop which had one of the filthiest refrains in memory. And now, a new track is online (which you can hear below) which samples Aaliyah!

And so, talented newbie samples RnB legend? What could possibly go wrong?

Well, once you’ve heard it, you might be tempted to think ‘everything’. See, Azealia Banks has gone and made something really very boring indeed. Is she a case of all hype and no knickers? We should lower our hopes.

Badvertising: Play Weight Watchers By Blinding & Deafening Yourself

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

OI! FATTY! IT’S JANUARY SO YOU’D BEST GET ON THE TREADMILL! Is what I’d be shouting at you if I wasn’t one of you; a Festive over-indulger that left a world of salad and steak for one populated almost exclusively by Toblerone and Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. We’ve all been there and now you’re probably sitting clutching your list of New Year’s Resolutions desperately trying to convince yourself that you’ll achieve all of the things on it.

You won’t.

Why should you? You’re your own person and you don’t need a list of goals to tell you that you should probably crack open a bag of cress every now and then before you start to resemble Michelle MacManus & Rik Waller’s illicit love-child. You don’t even need a list of goals to tell you that it might be time to get yourself on a dating website and meet someone new before you fall into the arms of an ex-lover because you’re horribly lonely.

Pop Promos: Coldplay’s Symphony, Rihanna’s Bowler-Hatted Beau & A Droopy-Faced Brad Pitt

August 4th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

People dying is a terrible thing, it's almost as bad as when annoying songs get stuck in your head, but what's even worse and more inconceivable than either of those things is when you have fake songs about dead people stuck in your head.

Readers of the ‘Spray, tonight we are disgraced to tell you that we find ourselves in this very situation.? Currently we are dancing round the bedsit singing ?Ga-da-fi is d-ead,? to the theme of the Conga, any second now the crew from Insidious 2 will be round to start filming.

One day no new music videos will have been posted on all the pretentious sites, and NME Video, that we patrol to inform you what the beautiful people are doing and you\’ll just be left utterly heart-broken and convulsing on the floor while singing the jingle from the Match.com advert, because let's face it you go there every night like the filthy love-hound you are.? Until this day comes though we can this week offer you some of the finest dirge on the web and Rihanna, who is so non-dirge that she forgave Chris Brown?according to our sources; the Metro.

The Inbetweeners Movie Breaks Box-Office Records, Despite Being Desperately Unfunny

August 5th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

When E4 had eventually grown tired of showing endless repeats of Friends and Scrubs, the channel eventually spat out its own unique programming, aimed at the sort of person that hecklerspray writers aren't; the young, the cool, the hip and the trendy. Arseholes, basically.

On one end of the spectrum, there was Skins, a programme which captured everyone’s dream college lifestyle, in a show which frequently used drugs, booze and sex, but portrayed them in the most extreme way to great effect.

Skins was escapism for most whilst The Inbetweeners offered a firmer dose of reality, especially for hormonal teenage boys. These are the sort of people who couldn't quite make that move from fingering a girl to using an empty packet of Space Raiders as a makeshift condom when that first awkward sexual experience arrived.

Festival Review: Download 2011 Sunday

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Is there any more fun to be drawn from rap/rock? Judging by Hyro Da Hero, the answer is ?Fun, yes. Essential music, perhaps not.? This is the straighter end of alt/noise rock (think a less experimental At the Drive-In) with rapping over the top rather that the normal approach of recreating hip-hop?s bounce and swing with live instruments.

A welcome change on a rainy morning after all the white men shouting, but ultimately inconsequential.

Norway?s Kvelertak describe themselves as Black n? Roll, and it's a good a label as any. Rock n? Roll with metal vocals. Like a less-pantomime Turbonegro, they sound like Satan?s favourite blues band. Another feather in Scandinavia?s already feather-stuffed cap.

Festival Review: Download 2011 Saturday

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Why are metal bands of such a high quality when playing live? We've lost count of the mind-numbing quantity of indie bands we've seen over the years that sounded passable on record but dreary once they sheepishly shuffle onto a stage.

Benji Webb knows how to work a crowd and Skindred are an amazing vehicle for his talent. The self-styled ?ragga-metal? [Jesus fucking Christ, really? – Ed.] band understand completely the musical forms with which they are playing.

Webb?s versatile vocals (roots crooning, rapping, metal roaring) allow the songs to change tempo all over the place so they are free to drop drum and bass rhythms without it sounding in the least bit contrived. Extra bonus points for getting a metal crowd doing the robot.

Festival Review: Download 2011 Friday

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

?Oh, goody, a festival review! I was there! I can't wait to see whether this review entirely shares my opinions, or whether it has its own mind. Tell us what you think??

Thanks for asking! There's an inclusivity to heavy metal that makes spending time with fans of it a total joy. They don't sneer at how you're dressed, and their music exists in a vacuum. Metal has had varying popularity in different forms but it hasn't been ?cool? since Nirvana were knocking around.

Free of the need to conform to notions of cool, they are also free to concentrate on rocking. Kurt Cobain was consumed with an exaggerated attention to the subtle cultural and intellectual differences that separated his band from the ?corporate? rock that it (temporarily) replaced. And look how that ended. Heroin addiction, history of depression, and permanent physical pain aside, we always got the impression that Kurt killed himself because he couldn't live in a world where Nevermind outsold Doolittle. The fact that it was outselling Dangerous meant the poor beautiful bugger didn't stand a chance. What we're trying to say is that Kurt missed the point. By a massive distance. You know the distance between the interesting idea of Lady Gaga and the piss-poor reality of her actual music. About that far.

Beyonce Embarrassed By Leakage

June 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Anyone who says they hate Beyonce is either a liar or a former member of Destiny’s Child, jarred and infuriated by her monumental success. Fact is, Beyonce Knowles is one of the most likeable pop-stars we’ve ever had. She’s just marvellous isn’t she?

And if you’re thinking ‘yeah, but I hate her music! All that stupid histrionics! It makes my turds hang sideways!’, you’re forgetting that she just looked really, really great in the ‘Crazy In Love’ video. Right?

Now, she’s got a new album due called ‘4’ and, well, loads of people have heard it in its entirety thanks to it getting leaked online (where else? The trad. arr. press couldn’t leak a septic tit). She’s not particularly happy about it.

Festival Preview- June

June 9th, 2011 By Si Sharp

Yeah, we know it's already June, and that with each passing day, the notion of it being a preview becomes more absurd. Shut up and read, because these are the festivals that you should be thinking about going to this month.

Arguably if you actually use us as some kind of tastemaker, then perhaps it's best to stay in and not inflict yourself on the wider public.

With that in mind, here?s what everyone should be doing while you stay in, looking at old photographs and wondering where it all went wrong.

The Darkness Reform For The Benefit Of Music Fans Living In The Past

March 16th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

The Darkness, they were an odd band weren't they? Operating around the period of 2003/2004, it was a time when indie music was at a low with bands getting signed more on their fashion sense than musical ability. If you could pull off the skinny jeans and hat look, then you were on to a winner. And hailed from somewhere ?trendy? like Camden.

Instead of targeting the traditional market of angst ridden teenagers, The Darkness decided that they?d bring back the seventies in to everybody?s lives. Did we want that? Not particularly. Hair metal and over the top antics weren't that exciting.

A few people took interest in the band with the majority of the fanbase being elderly people having a mid life crisis and reverting back to their youth. The band split in 2006 and five years later, they've returned with threats of a new album and touring.