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Donny Osmond

Donny Osmond has a big cry over Lady GaGa’s Telephone

by Mof Gimmers on March 25, 2010 4 Comments

Donny Osmond, the whitest guy who ever lived, is having a big old wail about Lady GaGa’s video for Telephone, which stars Beyonce Knowles and their respective sociable breasts. He’s got into a massive tizz about the whole thing, fretting and pacing up and down in his kitchen mainlining decaf coffee and wondering what the impact will be on the children of the world, 32% of those he sired himself. Possibly. This is clearly padding and lies in a tired attempt to hit a word count.

The promotion video/film (which you can see here, with stills of the ‘Best Bits’) has come in for a fair amount of criticism. India Arie,a dullard of a woman if ever there was one, wept that the reel was “socially irresponsible” and now, Donny and his amazingly white teeth are getting in on the condemning action.

And let’s be honest, they really are astonishingly white aren’t they? It’s like staring into an explosion.

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Donny Osmond Wins Dancing With The Stars! Donny Freaking Osmond!

by Stuart Heritage on November 25, 2009 2 Comments

Dancing With The Stars, Donny Osmond, Mya, Kelly OsbourneSo there’s Kelly Osbourne, Mya and Donny Osmond. One of them had to win Dancing With The Stars – but who?

Not Kelly Osbourne. She’s disagreeable and she falls over a lot. And not Donny Osmond. He’s middle-aged, not as talented as the others and has too many teeth. So that leaves Mya, who consistently scored higher than anybody else and is clearly a better dancer. So it’s Mya. Mya obviously won the Dancing With The Stars final last night.

Except she didn’t. Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars last night instead. But it’s not all bad – at least the Dancing With The Stars final wasn’t two hours long. What? It was? Gah!

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Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Osbourne Bizarrely Makes The Final

by Stuart Heritage on November 18, 2009 1 Comment

Dancing With The Stars, Joanna Krupa, Dancing With The Stars Final, Kelly Osbourne, Mya, Donny OsmondSo you’re a Dancing With The Stars voter. Your actions will decide who makes the Dancing With The Stars final.

You have four remaining dancers. One is Mya, perhaps the best celebrity dancer in the show’s history. One is Donny Osmond, the beloved cultural icon. One is Joanna Krupa, a smouldering bikini model. And one is Kelly Osbourne, who is Kelly Osbourne. You have to eliminate one dancer, effectively stopping them from wriggling around a studio in a barely-there scrap of sequinned spandex the following week.

And you choose to eliminate Joanna Krupa. Dancing With The Stars voters, you confuse us sometimes.

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