Don Imus - HecklerSpray

Don Imus Says Don’t Worry, It Was Only Sarcastic Racism

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Don Imus knows what it's like to lose your job because you're an unstoppably racist dimwit – it hasn't stopped him being one, but at least he knows what it's like.

Wait, did we say 'unstoppably racist dimwit'? We meant 'rapier-like skewerer of societal prejudices'. You see, Don Imus is in trouble again, this time for apparently alluding to the fact that an American footballer committed lots of crimes because he's black. But Don Imus says that's not the case.

Don Imus has come forward to point out that actually he was making a sarcastic point about how suspicious policemen are of black people. He was on their side all along! So which is it – is Don Imus a racist or a sarcastic campaigner for social justice? It's too hard to decide – can't we go with 'tedious Worzel-faced old gasbag' and be done with it?

Don Imus Back Being Racially Dubious Again Like Old Times

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Don Imus is famous for two things – having a face that looks like a nightmarish scarecrow made from dried salted beef and racism.

It wasn't so long ago that Don Imus was hauled from his long-running radio show in shame because he decided to tell his entire audience that a particular black female basketball team were a bunch of 'nappy-headed hos'. Although it cost him his job, this incident enlightened Don Imus to the plight of people of colour, and he vowed never to be racist again.

Unless you define 'racist' as 'appearing to imply that black people are inherently criminal', that is, in which case Don Imus might have just dropped himself in the crapper again. Will Don Imus lose yet another radio show? It doesn't matter, because so long as birds are still eating seeds from farmers' fields, Don Imus will never be fully unemployed.

Don Imus Starts Babbling Around On The Radio Again

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Everyone deserves a second chance in life, and that goes for leathery old reactionary gits who look like Worzel Gummidge's homeless alcoholic substance-abusing brother being attacked by wasps in a hailstorm – and Don Imus, too.

Back in the springtime, Don Imus briefly became the new Mel Gibson when he attracted a racial firestorm by claiming that a female basketball team all looked a bit like Pampers-loving pieces of horticultural equipment or something, and he was promptly sacked from his radio show as a result. But now Don Imus is back, and presented his first show on WABC-AM just hours ago. And to show how much he's progressed, Don Imus unveiled a brand-new non-racist team including two black comedians. True, they spent the entirety of Don Imus' show locked in a cage wearing loincloths, eating watermelons and singing My Mammy, but a start's a start.