Dog The Bounty Hunter - HecklerSpray

Nic Cage Woken By Naked Stranger On His Bed Brandishing Fudge

September 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! It’s Nicolas Cage! He’s the most aspirational man alive! Why? Because if someone with as scant ability like Nic can sustain a lengthy career in Hollywood, then you boy, are able to achieve absolutely anything you put your mind to.

However, you might need a night terror or two to get you there.

See, when he’s not getting arrested for drunkenly brawling with his wife and getting bailed out by Dog The Bounty Hunter, he’s being visited in the dead of night by a grinning stranger hovering over his bed eating ice-cream. For real.

Nicolas Cage Is In The Clear After His Hilarious Drunkenry In New Orleans

May 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Nic Cage! He’s not really very good at anything is he? He’s certainly not a particularly good actor and, as his recent bad behaviour in New Orleans shows, he’s not even very good at getting into trouble.

Despite the fact he disturbed the peace, got all up in his wife’s grill and dared the police to arrest him – which they did – even Dog The Bounty Hunter bailing him out of the jail didn’t really amount to proper trouble. It was just… funny.

As a result, Nicolas Cage is in the clear. It would appear that the police think he’s so lame that they can’t even be bothered to put him through the legal system.

Dog The Bounty Hunter Bails Nicolas Cage Out Of Prison – World Enters Dream State

April 19th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Nicolas Cage, the most lucky b-movie actor in the universe, has had a busy ol’ weekend. He was jailed for domestic violence while being more drunk (and as coherent) as a sock filled with Schnapps.

And what with this being Nicolas Cage, things weren’t ever going to play out in the same way it does when us plebs get arrested.

Bizarrely, Cagey was bailed out of prison by a man who looks like the chemical accident lovechild of Macho Man Randy Savage and Bret Michaels – Dog The Bounty Hunter! This could well be the greatest celebrity story ever written.

Dog The Bounty Hunter Gets Impressive Injury In A Rubbish Way And Bleeds In Hospital

October 4th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Duane Chapman, also known as Dog The Bounty Hunter is a man with a fine head of hair on him. He’s a man who watched WWE wrestling and picked up style tips without even the vaguest trace of irony. He’s a hardman who looks like a stupid idiot.

In fairness, Dog is a staggering fool.

Why? Well, Dog was taken to UCLA Medical Center where he was treated for internal bleeding. Sounds like the sort of thing a hard nut should be dealing with, right? Well, unfortunately for Duane, he got a really cool injury in the lamest way possible.

Mr Rooney Fails To Update The Sex Offender’s Register

September 30th, 2010 By Kris Silver

Ferris Bueller, the 80s wild child played by Matthew Broderick, only had one problem in his annoyingly perfect life, the relentless Dean of Students at his High School, Ed Rooney.

Well, Ferris?s days of running from Mr. Rooney can finally be put behind him after 14 long years as actor Jeffrey Jones was sentenced to 250 hours community service and 3 years probation for failing to update his details on the sex offenders register.

Top 10 Racist Celebrity Rants

September 20th, 2012 By Steve Charnock

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is known for being a loud and abusive drunken idiot, so it’s quite refreshing to hear a new twist on his persona and here it is: He's now allegedly a loud and abusive, racist drunken idiot! And he's going back to rehab. Again.

After drinking vodka shots a JFK airport lounge before 7am and getting completely shitfaced, airport staff refused to allow the Irish actor on to his flight to LA.

Jonathan was quite rightly outraged at this – after all, why can’t a world famous actor, who has already been into rehab three times before, having already been arrested for being drunk at an airport twice, neck a bucketful of vodka and stagger on to a plane, allegedly hurling racist slurs at staff? Eh? Don't they know WHO HE IS???

So he did what any self-respecting Hollywood piss artist would do and lashed out furiously, liberally using the N-word for good measure. And even for a spoilt, drunken idiot, that's low?

Dog The Bounty Hunter Elusively Avoids Several Bullets

April 26th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

As anyone generally considered villainous or reprehensible will tell you, anytime they are in a bank vault with a money-stuffed laundry bag slung over their shoulder, the last thing they want to see is ‘the Orange Glow.’

‘The Orange Glow’ is a criminal industry term for a streaked blur that swoops in and vanquishes all evil everywhere at least once daily. Some say his true identity is a mystery – unknown even to his plus-size wife.

Other’s say it’s actually Dog the Bounty Hunter after another rejuvenating self-tan session.

Speaking of which – someone recently tried to murder him.

Dog The Bounty Hunter’s Son Locked Up, Bear Mace Privileges Removed

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Tucker Chapman hasn't had an easy life. Although his father is Dog The Bounty Hunter, he hasn't picked up on any hereditary traits like the orange skin, rubbish hair or underlying racism.

And when your dad is Dog The Bounty Hunter, you'd better make sure that you play by the rules, unless you want to end up with 16 gallons of bear mace shot directly into your eyes and a florescent man with the hair of a cheap 1980s stripper shouting the word 'bra' condescendingly at you.

Tucker Chapman can't have known this, though, because he's been locked up in a correctional facility for all kinds of drug-based shenanigans.

Dog The Bounty Hunter Wrestles His TV Show Back

February 20th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

Everyone deserves a second chance, even freakish-looking giants the colour of burning magma who are just a teensy bit racist.

And that's why A&E has decided to start remaking new episodes of Dog The Bounty Hunter, months after the show was pulled off air when Dog The Bounty Hunter started chucking the n-word around in a phone conversation like Christ knows what.

Nobody is exactly sure what convinced A&E to start bringing Dog The Bounty Hunter back, but one possible clue lies in the locked cupboard full of screaming naked A&E executives who couldn't stop scratching at their burning eyes that was discovered last week. The fact that 'Give me my show back, bra' was also written on the cupboard wall in blood may be another indication.

Dog The Bounty Hunter Free Of All That Mexico Kerfuffle

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

His racist-seeming mouth may have got his TV show yanked off air, but at least Dog The Bounty Hunter is no longer a wanted man in Mexico, and how many of us can say that?

Well, all of us probably. Anyway, Dog The Bounty Hunter has lived with the threat of extradition to Mexico over his head for some time now, after an ill-advised bounty-hunting jaunt there in 2003, but now a Mexican court has dropped his charges.

Dog The Bounty Hunter's a free man again! Finally he'll be able to ditch that ridiculous disguise of his and live his life normally again.

That is a disguise, right?