Documentary - HecklerSpray

Reincarnated: Snoop Lion Smokes Enough Weed To Believe He’s Actually Bob Marley

March 30th, 2013 By Austin Walsh

In ?Reincarnated?, a new documentary from VICE magazine, Snoop Lion, formerly Snoop Dogg, formerly Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr. (holy mouthful) takes us on a trip to his Jamaican “homeland? to showcase his transformation from badass motherfucker to coconut water sipping, shuffleboard playing, rainbow flag waving pussyanna.

Rocking a super sexy RASTAHHHH mesh tanktop, Snoop explains how through the process of weed smoke baptism he was magically transformed into the reincarnation of Bob Marley, despite the fact that Marley died in 1981, an entire fucking decade after Snoop was born (1971). ?Now, I don't have a PhD in that made up shit you call religion, but I'm pretty sure reincarnation only happens after someone is already dead.

Forget The Oscar Nominations! The Libertines Have A Documentary Coming Out!

January 25th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Why do people care about The Oscars? The winners get a lousy statue that resembles a gold-plated bottle of bubble bath with a screw top head. Hollywood has run out of ideas and has realised that the game is up, badly remaking Japanese films and adapting stupid books.

But Generation Yoof won't care about classic cinema being revisited will they? They’ve got Skins back on their worthless TVs.

And, worse still, sixth form politicians and literature geeks will all be going weak at the knees as skag wuss and all-round pus-factory Pete Doherty looks to cash in with a documentary based on run of the mill indie act, The Libertines. We expect no highs, just lows.

James Franco To Make Porn Film Which Will Thrill Bored Women

August 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hipster Nick Knowles, James Franco, the man fancied by women who like to think they’re clever, is making a porn film. Get that? Porn. In a film. With James Franco. We imagine there will be flash flooding in certain undercarriages right now.

However, we’d like to put the scuppers on your arousal by pointing out that this won’t be a bongo film starring Franco, but rather, a vaguely pretentious documentary made by the actor.

Don’t worry. There’s some salacious stuff for you to get your teeth into all the same, you sickening debauchotrons.

Shania Twain Taunts Us By Nearly Quitting Music After Throat And Emotions Fail Her

May 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Shania Twain once told us that ‘the best thing about being a woman is that you get to have a little fun.’ Of course, men have fun too. And when men and women have fun together, everything is just great, right?

Wrong. You see, in this case, ‘a little fun’ happened to be Shania’s husband – Mutt Lange – sticking his member inside Twain’s best friend in the whole world. “That don’t impress me much, uh-uh-uh-ooow“, Shania probably said at the time she found out about it all.

The fallout of this heartbreak left us all tantalisingly close to Shania giving up on music completely, never again subjecting us innocents to the appalling, vomiting country-pop smashes that briefly took over the universe like some kind of sonic herpes.

See The Trailer For Justin Bieber’s Pointless 3D Documentary!

October 27th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Documentaries and biopics are usually at their best when there’s a rise, fall and comeback element to them. The whole ‘things were going really well until I started to hit the hard stuff and believe my own hype… but now I’m back!’ really works, no matter how hackneyed.

So what about the the ‘birth, rise and… well… here we are’ Justin Bieber documentary that is hitting the cinemas next year? In 3D no less!

Justin Bieber is roughly 3 hours old, so how a studio has managed to spin it into a full length cinema release is beyond us. And we’ve got the trailer here.

Britney Spears Doc: The Nanosecond You Didn’t Already Hear About

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The contents of the Britney Spears documentary, Britney: Buy My Record, were perhaps the worst-kept secret in history.

To be fair, everyone knew what to expect anyway – 90 minutes of Britney Spears going “Cuh! What happened THERE? Lorks a-lummy, I went proper bananas for a while, didn’t I? Oh well, I’m better now. Buy my record” – but that didn’t stop all the interesting parts of the documentary creeping out weeks ago.

But now that Britney: Have I Told You About My Record has been aired in America, we now know everything that happened in it from start to finish. So what did happen in Britney: You Know What’d Make A Lovely Christmas Present For All Your Loved Ones? My Record? Nothing. It turns out that people weren’t leaking the interesting parts of the documentary, just the bits where Britney Spears used actual identifiable words.

Britney Spears Doc: Now With More Rhyming Self-Disparagement

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You probably haven’t heard about the new Britney Spears documentary yet, because it’s only been everywhere all the time forever.

In fact it’s fair to say that so much of the Britney Spears documentary has now been leaked that the only new footage that’ll come as a surprise to anyone watching the whole thing next week is a three-second snippet of Britney Spears gazing into the middle distance and wistfully humming the theme-tune to Animal Hospital.

For instance, People magazine has now seen an exclusive preview of Britney: For The Record, and the most exciting bit left to review seems to be when Britney Spears starts crying and says of her life “It’s bad. I’m sad.” Bad? Sad? That’s the most eloquent you can be, Britney? Disappointing. We just expected something more profound from the poet behind “Womanizer womanizer/ You’re a womanizer/ Oh/ Womanizer/ Oh.”

Britney Spears Will Pretty Much Never Be Happy Again

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

So Britney Spears, you’re a number one singer, you can see your children more often and your hair’s grown back – are you happy?

No. No, obviously Britney Spears isn’t happy. In fact, judging by the slivers that have been leaked out about next month’s Britney Spears documentary Britney: For The Record, the poor girl seems sadder than ever. In the documentary, you see, Britney Spears compares her entire life to a prison sentence.

That’s not so bad, really – at least in prison you get three square meals a day, a bed to sleep on and as many violent bummings as a girl could wish for – but Britney Spears goes one step further than that. In fact, Britney Spears says her life is like Groundhog Day. And since that means it’ll culminate in a romantic encounter with Andie MacDowell, it’s clearly far far worse than any of us could possible imagine.

People Who Still Use MySpace Can Clean Courtney Love’s House For Money. Take That Facebook

March 24th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Are you generally considered clean?

Do you enjoy the smell of peroxide? Do you ever float Indian style in your kitchen while that one nice black lady delivers a monologue about shiny floors? Are you pretty good at getting 14-year-old bloodstains off of mostly ceilings but probably a little bit off of the upper walls? Would grunge have appealed to you more if it had a heavier emphasis on germ-free personal living quarters?

If so, you should definitely put all of that down on a resume – because Courtney Love may really think about employing you. She said as much on her MySpace account, the venue she’s using to apparently hire a maid.