It has long been foretold that Naomi Campbell’s blood would spill forth upon the land, creeping into every house, every street and every unfortunate gaping mouth that happens to be astounded by the sight of such a big red tidal wave.

In recent years theologians have stated that all the signs are in place, and that the apocalyptic super-model’s body explosion would happen any day now. We’re still waiting.

Let’s hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon either – because as it stands right now her blood isn’t even good enough to save under-weight mosquito children. Well we think that’s how it stands.

We’ve actually only read headlines on the matter.