We look to our pop stars for bad behaviour because… well… in some cases, it’s all they have. We certainly don’t want to listen to all that stupid music they release. Music costs money and investment of time. Hearing that famous people have been dicks is free.
Especially badly behaved are rappers. God we love rappers. They have guns and drugs in their big cars. Some of them even get shot dead like Tupac.
However, stupid Dizzee Rascal is rather well-behaved. So well behaved that, when he was thrown off a British Airways flight, the passengers stuck up for him.
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Tonight sees the annual Mercury Music Prize trundling into view, hauling its mighty self worth with it. Bands will be dribbled over and invariably drowned out to the sound of a room congratulating itself with thunderous back-slaps. Jools Holland will probably join-in with some faux honky tonk piano.
And weirdly, the bookies favourite for a win tonight is octogenarian Paul Weller, with his album ‘Wake Up The Nation’.
You can see what we thought of that album, and indeed, all the other nominees at this predictably dismissive article here. Read More >>>
The Mercury Music Prize is a press junket with feelings. While bozos get plastered and toot chong from toilet cisterns, pinning lackeys against walls with their feeble erections, a panel of judges all pat each other on the back discussing albums that Really Mean It Man, as opposed to those that sold loads of copies that Didn’t Mean It Man.
And, as ever, ‘musical creativity and excellence’ is supposedly highlighted by the predictable 12 Albums of the Year shortlisted for the 2010 Barclaycard Mercury Prize. And they’ve been announced today!
Aren’t you excited? Read More >>>
The best thing about Simon Cowell is that he makes a success of everything he does. Music. Television.
Legitimately dreadful haircuts. And now football. Yesterday, the bizarre Simon Cowell-masterminded World Cup mash-up of Shout and No Diggity featuring James Corden and Dizzee Rascal reached number one in the charts. It has single-handedly brought the nation together thanks to its uplifting message, its arbitrary scattering of the world ‘England’ and the fact that it’s still only about a tenth as awful as that Terry Venables song.
But is Simon Cowell happy with the song’s success? No – he’s not going to stop until Fabio Capello has played Shout for the players in the England dressing room before every match. Presumably with a threat to play it at them again at full-time unless they can convincingly win.
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Obviously James Corden was going to be all over the place during the World Cup. He vocally likes football.
He hosts a sport-based quiz show. He stars in those toe-curlingly chummy sketches with the England team at every opportunity he can get. He’s a shameless attention-whore. So, yes, James Corden was always going to do something for the World Cup. But an unofficial England anthem? An unofficial England anthem that’s a cover of a Tears For Fears song? An unofficial England anthem that’s a cover of a Tears For Fears song that Simon Cowell masterminded?
An unofficial England anthem that’s a cover of a Tears For Fears song that Simon Cowell masterminded and Dizzee Rascal does a rap on? James Corden, we wouldn’t have expected any less from you. Sadly.
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Tee hee, can you see what we did there? We just did a funny.
Well, in our childish minds it made us to a lol and then rotf. Dizzee Rascal literally did go a bit ape a few days ago, and allegedly tried to beat an audience member up at the Big Day Out festival in Brisbane. But why would a mild-mannered ghetto rapper like Mr. Rascal commit such an act? After all, some newspapers would wrongly assume he’d stab someone. Not punch them.
Unfortunately, some artists tend to get a bit flustered when people decide to lob objects at them. This happens mainly at festivals when bored metal lovers get peed off with pop bands miming songs to them. Perhaps this is what happened this time, as the crowd were getting lagered up for Rolf Harris to appear. Want to see Dizzee Rascal get angry? Course you do, after the jump.
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Folded for the good stuff, Creased for the bad.
Folded:
- Land of the Lost trailer online (and, surprisingly, it looks okay)
- Being only as tall as a Ribena Berry yet still being able to kick everyone’s ass (we’re talking about you, Mr. Jack Bauer)
- The Thing…coming back to your screens on September 15th (a giant widescreen head on legs? We’re there)
- Dr. Oetker pizzas (extra fat, extra taste)
- Dizzee Rascal (don’t let the fact that Dizzee looks like a sixth-former playing truant fool you, he’s alright)
Creased:
Folded for the good stuff, Creased for the bad.
Folded:
* Land of the Lost trailer online (and, surprisingly, it looks okay)
* Being only as tall as a Ribena Berry yet still being able to kick everyone’s ass (we’re talking about you, Mr. Jack Bauer)
* The Thing...coming back to your screens on September 15th (a giant widescreen head on legs? We're there)
* Dr. Oetker pizzas (extra fat, extra taste)
* Dizzee Rascal (don’t let the fact that Dizzee looks like a sixth-former playing truant fool you, he's alright)
Creased:
* Four minute Terminator Salvation clip online (enough already)
* This year’s The Apprentice contestants.. (..are the worst ever, right? Ben isn't fit for £100 a year, let alone £100,000)
* Friday night KFC (seriously don’t even get tempted. It’s worse than you could possibly remember)
* Sunny and cold (an increasingly common weather phenomenon for the U.K. For putting you in a good mood, it's right up there with warm and drizzly)
* Ben Sherman shirts (haven’t been worn correctly for twenty-five years now)
