Celebrity divorces don’t just happen to celebrities, you know – they also happen to people we’ve never heard of, like Kate Walsh.

Oh, we’re just kidding. Of course we know who Kate Walsh is. She’s, you know, that woman who recently announced that she’s getting divorced from her husband. And she… um… what’s that, Wikipedia? Kate Walsh is the star of Grey’s Anatomy spin-off Private Practice and the movie Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer, Part 2, a movie that actually exists? Oh.

Anyway, Kate Walsh has asked everyone to respect her privacy in the wake of her divorce. Somehow, we can’t see that being a problem.

Remember when that screaming Australian woman from Lost who nobody would ever recognise by name got married to a man and then stopped being married to him soon after? Well, this is much, much worse – Kate Walsh is getting divorced.

That’s right, Kate Walsh. Not only would we not recognise Kate Walsh by name, but we wouldn’t recognise Kate Walsh by name, by sight, by voice or by smell. OK, admittedly we would recognise Kate Walsh by smell, but that’s only because we hide under her bed and sniff her hair in her sleep. There’s nothing creepy about it.

Anyway, Kate Walsh – a woman so stunningly anonymous that she could drive a truck that she’d renamed The Kate Walsh Express down The Kate Walsh Memorial Highway right into our face while flicking her headlights on and off to spell ‘I AM KATE WALSH FROM PRIVATE PRACTICE’ in Morse code and singing a special version of Boom Boom Boom Boom! by The Vengaboys that’s been rewritten so that every word is either ‘Kate’ or ‘Walsh’ through a megaphone and we still wouldn’t know who she was – is getting divorced. That was our original point.

Apparently Kate Walsh’s husband – a man called Alex Young who ironically is 4,000 times more famous than Kate Walsh despite never starring in a single movie or medical spin-off TV show – has had enough of being married to Kate Walsh after just 15 months of marriage and has filed for a divorce. People reports:

According to court papers obtained by PEOPLE, Young, 37, petitioned for a divorce, citing irreconcilable differences in his Nov. 22 filing. “The couple remain on friendly terms and sincerely hope the media will respect their privacy during this difficult time,” the pair said in a statement Thursday.

Oh, irreconcilable differences. That old chestnut.

Of course, the term ‘irreconcilable differences’ is often used as a cover-all excuse during a divorce, sometimes hiding the fact that one partner had an affair, other times hiding the fact that the marriage has turned abusive, and occasionally hiding the fact that the husband would sometimes completely ignore his wife in a crowd, seemingly forgetting who she was or what she looked like, often spending upwards of 20 minutes craning his neck and shouting “KATE! KATE WALSH! KATE WALSH FROM PRIVATE PRACTICE!” even though his wife is literally staring him right in the face at the same time.

Maybe we’ll never know which of these they meant by ‘irreconcilable differences’.

Anyway, we’d like to send our sincerest commiserations to Alex Young and… oh, you know, whatever his wife’s name is. It’s slipped our mind. Bugger.

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Pink's last album might have been called I'm Not Dead, but her marriage certainly is – dead as a flipping doornail.

It's just been reported that Pink and her husband Carey Hart are divorcing after two years of happy, split rumour-filled, years. Although Pink and Carey Hart have said that they're still great friends despite the break-up, it's no surprise that their marriage didn't last on reflection.

After all, it must be hard to be married to a woman who looks like she could quite easily beat you in an arm-wrestling match.

Pink's always been a girl who does what she darn well pleases. When she became unhappy with her original R&B Britney Spears image, Pink said "No way! I'm my own person! I'm raw and uncompromising and I'll record whatever I like, so long as there's a multimillion-selling songwriter helping me! And then I'll record a song called Stupid Girls where I'll satirise girls who wear bikinis in pop videos by doing the exact thing I'm so angry about! Grrr!"

And that became even more apparent when Pink decided to get married. "No way! I won't marry one of those nice boys that you say I should," Pink screamed at nobody in particular, "I'll marry a boy who rides a motorbike or something! Raaah!" And so just over two years ago, Pink married Carey Hart, a man who rides motorbikes for a living. And everyone was happy forever.

Alright, maybe not forever – but for the two or three months before the quickly-dismissed rumours of marital strife crept in, at least. And definitely not now, because Pink and Carey Hart have announced that they're getting a divorce. People reports:

The marriage of pop singer Pink and her husband of two years, motocross racer and former The Surreal Life star Carey Hart, has ended, the singer's publicist, Michele Schweitzer, tells PEOPLE. "Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another," says Schweitzer, adding, "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger."

It's sad, but also kind of inevitable. Just days ago Carey Hart was seen at a party all over a girl who probably didn't even have a secondary colour for a name. Not only that, but imagine trying to live with someone who makes their living by writing songs called things like Conversations With My 13-Year-Old Self and not wanting to push them down the stairs. Imagine it. You can't, can you. Especially if Get The Party Started was their ringtone. You'd be lucky not to end up arrested for locking them in a cupboard.

Still, it's good to see that, despite the divorce, Pink and Carey Hart still have a 'huge amount of love and respect for each other', even though that sounds like the biggest crock of shit ever written. Because last time she was single Pink wrote songs called Misery and Numb, and we'd hate to think of what whiny self-pitying nonsense she'd come up with as a bitter divorcee.

Read more:

Pink & Carey Hart Divorcing – People 

To the naked eye, Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are the perfect couple, in that while they're together they can't go round making slurring pikey babies with anyone else.

But there might be trouble in paradise – according to Amy Winehouse's father, Blake has a habit of screaming things like "I want a divorce" at Amy Winehouse during arguments and now their marriage is dangerously on the rocks.

Let's hope they're just rumours, though, because watching Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil squabble for custody of a tatty trilby, a beehive wig that smells of gutters and enough drugs to down a herd of elephants would be quite traumatic for us.

Look at most married couples you know. What's the hardest thing most of them have been through? That time their toddler drew on the wallpaper with a marker pen? That time the husband couldn't stop staring at a waitress' arse on their anniversary dinner? Pah.

Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil have been through way more than that together – they've endured near-fatal drug overdoses, public fights, arrests for perverting the course of justice, failed tours and – most gravely of all – the fact that neither one of them looks capable of stringing even a rudimentary sentence together.

But most recently it's emerged that the marriage between Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil is under more pressure than ever. While Blake is banged up pending his court case, Amy Winehouse has been seen out and about with an old ex-boyfriend, her producer Mark Ronson and Pete Doherty.

While it's thought that Blake is OK with Amy seeing Pete – because, really, what is Pete Doherty if not a Blake Fielder-Civil clone carved out of a month-old potato? – the thought of his wife spending time with other men has been sending him crazy; so much so that Amy's dad claims he's asked for a divorce. Now reports: 

Amy Winehouse's hubby Blake Fielder-Civil has asked her for a divorce. The singer's dad Mitch claims his son-in-law said he was ready to call it a day during a recent spat with Amy. 'Blake threatened to issue divorce proceedings when they were having a row,' he says… 'From Amy's point of view, she would stick by him not matter what. But he has said things like, “I want a divorce”.' 

Now, having seen most episodes of Birds Of A Feather, we've witnessed for ourselves the stress that gets put on a marriage when one half of the couple is in jail, so these divorce rumours don't come as a surprise. What Amy Winehouse desperately needs to do is to move next door to a middle-aged Jewish slapper to provide the occasional moment of comic relief in her otherwise bleak life. That's something else we learnt from Birds Of A Feather.

But are Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil really going to divorce? Hardly – it seems clear that Amy Winehouse is smitten on her ratty, dirty-looking husband and, besides, if Amy and Blake divorce then who's going to violently attack all those 13,000 audience members that she angrily threatened back in November? 

Read more:

Blake Fielder-Civil asks Amy Winehouse for divorce – Now