It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
The paparazzi were waiting outside ITV with their wide-angle lenses attached, the party in Blackburn’s village hall was ready to go (crisps, pop and some raw horse meat for Susan Boyle to tear into), and a lady who lives with 30 cats in Wisconsin had pre-written a Wikipedia entry and was sat with her finger hovering over the ‘Submit Now’ button.
But the horrible truth was revealed, and hecklerspray were left to wonder: how do we write hilarious words about Diversity? It’s like turning up for a fight and finding Mike Tyson when you expected Stephen Hawking.
