Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
When the list is finally produced covering the ‘Things We Absolutely Do Not Want To Ever Know About, Ever’, this will be right up there at the top.
Nobody needs to know that Sam Ronson has apparently bought Lindsay Lohan a big pile of sex toys for her birthday.
We didn’t need to know, we didn’t want to know and we feel a bit sick now. Which is why we had to tell you lot, so you can feel as ill as we do.
Yep – sick as a dog.
So Lindsay Lohan’s career is deeper in the pooper than ever, but it doesn’t matter – after all, family is what’s most important.
And that’s why Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael has chosen now to do the most charming, heartwarming thing he’s probably ever done – he’s finally decided to take back his comments about Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend Sam Ronson being “dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.”
What an incredible show of compassion! From now on, Michael Lohan will no longer use the words ‘dark’, ‘hideous’, or ‘disgusting’ in association with Sam Ronson for fear of offending Lindsay Lohan. Fortunately, that does still leave him with the adjectives ‘abominable’, ‘appalling’, ‘detestable’, ‘loathsome’, ‘repugnant’, ‘revolting’, ‘sickening’ and ‘unsightly’, so look out for any or all of those bad boys in the next few weeks.
