When Steve Jobs died (most likely as a direct result of the shoddy piece of iCrap that his company launched just 24 hours earlier), tearful simpletons across the globe gathered around his grave to pay homage to the genius who Changed The World™, one recycled idea at a time.
When the prophesied iJobs resurrection failed to materialise three days later, a handful of maverick thinkers finally dared to suggest that maybe Stevie J wasn’t Jesus incarnate after all, and perhaps all the gushing, glassy-eyed dogma spewing across the Internet might have been a teensy, weensy bit overblown.
Various stories began to bubble to the surface about Jobs being generally a bit of a git-about-town, and the leaked preview of a suspiciously well-timed “definitive biography” revealed he was in fact a dirty, smelly, LSD-addled hippy with a bitter, venomous hatred towards anything that looked remotely like fair competition in the marketplace. And that’s not even mentioning his various attempts to abandon his first daughter.
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Russell Brand has opened his mouth and let a load of words come out that have made disabled people either cry, or want to viciously beat him up with their angry, angry fists.
Has he ill-advisedly said that Katy Perry looks ‘a bit special sometimes’?
NO! Don’t be an idiot. He’s called Paralympic athletes “novelty value”, which is nice of him isn’t it? This, naturally, has made a thousand unprintable jokes run through the head of team ‘spray which is most infuriating. Read More >>>
Most of you resent having anything to do with popular culture, preferring to ferret yourselves away next to your pointless collection of Korean horror films and albums made by bearded pricks with acoustic guitars.
This means you will have invariably missed the gigantic outrage caused by Lady GaGa’s mocking the afflicted. Afflicted with what? Afflicted with wheels, that’s what.
That’s right kiddiekins! GaGa has done one of her daft performances again, taking to the stage in a wheelchair while dressed as a mermaid. Of course, everyone has thrown up their lunch with disgust, spelling the word ‘vile’ out with their stomach lining. As disgusting and hate-filled toward the disabled GaGa is, Bette Midler would also like everyone to know that she hates people in wheelchairs too!
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Chelsea and England football captain John Terry has been caught red-handed parking in a disabled bay.
According to The Sun, John Terry (Grandma Hecklerspray always said to never trust man with two first names) parked his Bentley (Grandma Hecklerspray always said that people who drove Bentley's were nob-heads) illegally outside Pizza Express in Esher, Surrey, for about two whole hours.
So while he and his 'holier-than-disabled' family perused the menu, a cavalcade of disabled drivers drove endlessly around and around the streets of Esher desperately looking for a place to park, crying tears of disabled despair.
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John terry face maskThe Chelsea and England captain has unveiled himself to be a mighty piece of scum, for he has been caught red-handed parking in a disabled bay.
According to The Sun, that daily newspaper of the damned (i.e. fickle minded proles of Rupert Murdoch's right wing agenda and, worse, Showbiz reporters looking for a story to claim as their own), John Terry (Grandma Hecklerspray always said to never trust man with two first names) 27, parked his Bentley (Grandma Hecklerspray always said that people who drove Bentley's were nob-heads) illegally and immorally outside Pizza express in Esher, Surrey, for about two whole hours, as he and his 'holier-than-disabled' family pretentiously perused the menu, arrogantly ordered their food, menacingly munched it down in-between supercilious slurps of their drinks, whilst a cavalcade of disabled drivers drove endlessly around and around the streets of Esher, desperately looking for a place to park, crying tears of disabled despair.
