Disability - HecklerSpray

Ricky Gervais To Take His Mongshow To The Golden Globes Again!

November 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Chief Mong and Spazz Honcho Ricky Gervais is to host the Golden Globe Awards again, which is great news for Ricky Gervais’ bank manager. Of course, we should point out that he’s shown remorse for all that ‘mong thing’, and by the end of the article, we will too.

For now, we’re mong mad.

If you remember, last time he hosted the Golden Globes, he ruffled a few feathers by mocking Scientology (good lad) and dry-heaving over the thought of Hugh Hefner’s penis (good work) and… well… in places, he was actually very good, which makes it very irritating for someone wanting to throw a jibe his way. He did go on to say mong though and we’re not letting that go because we’re lazy. Lazy mongs.

Ricky Gervais Says Its Alright Being Famous, Provided You Say You Didn’t Want It

November 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ricky ‘Mong’ Gervais is opening his mouth again so he can not only show us his peculiar teeth, but also, offer his opinions on the whole gruesome spectacle that is the beast known as ‘fame’ and ‘celebrity’.

No-one will disagree that Gervais is a famous, famous man. He’s been in a myriad of average films and hosted some award ceremonies. Effectively, he’s a Tesco Value Billy Crystal.

Anyway, he’s criticising British culture because it stifles aspiration. Not only that, he had some choice (read ‘judgemental’) words to say about today’s “fame-hungry” society. Of course, you’ll remember that, in the past, no-one wanted to be famous and all anyone really wanted to do was to get a job as an admin monkey in an office. Remember those days? Halcyon, halcyon days.

Ricky Gervais May Hate The Disabled

October 18th, 2011 By Robin Darke

It’s not often that we plebs at hecklerspray get confused about things. We’re generally right about stuff 100% of the time (have you read our horoscopes? Always spot on), and if you disagree then you’re very, very wrong.

That’s how it works.

But Ricky Gervais the nauseatingly fat one from The Office, Extras, Stardust, and Cemetery Junction, has got us all in a flutter about the word ‘mong.’

Cliff Richard Wants To Kill Your Elderly, Mental Relatives

October 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Cliff Richard hates the mental. It’s official. He thinks that they should all be locked up in an asylum and gradually killed. Maybe once an afternoon. While they’re enjoying Cash In The Celebrity Bric-a-Brac Stand probably.

Catch them off guard while they’re trying to figure out who the bell ringing killer is on Midsomer Murder. Imagine how mental David Dickinson looks while you’re under the influence of some “humane” poison.

If he had the chance, Cliff would happily pop a mentalist’s clogs for them as well.

Russell Brand Upsets Every Single Disabled Person On Earth

September 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Russell Brand has opened his mouth and let a load of words come out that have made disabled people either cry, or want to viciously beat him up with their angry, angry fists.

Has he ill-advisedly said that Katy Perry looks ‘a bit special sometimes’?

NO! Don’t be an idiot. He’s called Paralympic athletes ?novelty ?value?, which is nice of him isn’t it? This, naturally, has made a thousand unprintable jokes run through the head of team ‘spray which is most infuriating.

Bette Midler Wants To Punch Lady GaGa Right On The Fishy Wheelchair

July 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Most of you resent having anything to do with popular culture, preferring to ferret yourselves away next to your pointless collection of Korean horror films and albums made by bearded pricks with acoustic guitars.

This means you will have invariably missed the gigantic outrage caused by Lady GaGa’s mocking the afflicted. Afflicted with what? Afflicted with wheels, that’s what.

That’s right kiddiekins! GaGa has done one of her daft performances again, taking to the stage in a wheelchair while dressed as a mermaid. Of course, everyone has thrown up their lunch with disgust, spelling the word ‘vile’ out with their stomach lining. As disgusting and hate-filled toward the disabled GaGa is, Bette Midler would also like everyone to know that she hates people in wheelchairs too!

Jeremy Irons Thinks Smokers Need To Be Protected Like Disabled Folk

April 5th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Smokers are having a hard time of it in certain quarters. In many places, they’re no longer allowed to smoke in pubs and bars, leaving them to brilliantly stand in doorways blowing stinkin’ plumes over mewing non-smokers as they walk on by.

In parts of America, you can be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay for merely thinking about a crude pencil drawing of cigarettes.

This has seen British actor Jeremy Irons getting all irate, which presumably makes him want to pace around chain-smoking. Y’see, Irons – a man who has absolutely zero colour in his face – is angry at the whole city of New York for new smoking rules, which prompted him into making a rather odd comparison.