Articles tagged with: directing
Tom Ford Makes A Film, Whoopy Doo
Tom Ford is basically a modern-day Renaissance man - one day he'll make a pair of trousers, the next he'll make, dunno, a sweater or something. But Tom Ford isn't a man who restricts himself to only making things for rich image-conscious idiots to wear. No, now he's decided to turn his hand to making things for rich image-conscious idiots to sit and slowly fall asleep to and then wake up and pretend to have enjoyed because it makes them look clever. That's right - Tom Ford is making a movie. Apparently Tom Ford has adapted the novel A Single Man into a movie, and he's managed to get Julianne Moore and Colin Firth to star in it. We don't know if A Single Man will be good yet, but we suspect it largely depends on his resolve - at some point he's bound to crack and give Victoria Beckham a part in it, and how large that part is will determine how many teeth we'll smash out with our shoe if we ever have to watch it.
Tom Ford is basically a modern-day Renaissance man - one day he'll make a pair of trousers, the next he'll make, dunno, a sweater or something. But Tom Ford isn't a man who restricts himself to only making things for rich image-conscious idiots to wear. No, now he's decided to turn his hand to making things for rich image-conscious idiots to sit and slowly fall asleep to and then wake up and pretend to have enjoyed because it makes them look clever. That's right - Tom Ford is making a movie. Apparently Tom Ford has adapted the novel A Single Man into a movie, and he's managed to get Julianne Moore and Colin Firth to star in it. We don't know if A Single Man will be good yet, but we suspect it largely depends on his resolve - at some point he's bound to crack and give Victoria Beckham a part in it, and how large that part is will determine how many teeth we'll smash out with our shoe if we ever have to watch it.
Sylvester Stallone Doing Rambo 5 And 6 And Hopefully No More
This year's Rambo gave the world just what it needed - an unnaturally jacked-up sexagenarian doing gory murder on millions of foreigners. And, make no mistake, Rambo worked on every conceivable level - as a flat-out action movie, as a piece of issue-based social filmmaking, as a way of utterly obliterating the Burmese tourist industry, as a warning against the use of HGH at an advanced age, as a reminder that nobody looks good with a mullet. We could go on. But anyway, that's why we're thrilled at the news that Sylvester Stallone has just signed on to direct Rambo 5, due to start filming next year. What's more, Sylvester Stallone is also thought to be writing Rambo 6. Plus Stallone wants Rambo 7 to be an animated cartoon, and Rambo 8 to be a musical, and Rambo 9 to be a stageplay and Rambo 10 to be a remake of Rambo 6 starring children and puppets and Rambo 11 to be an avant-garde Warhol-style close-up of one of his own eyelashes that lasts for 48 hours. All true. Except for the last 57 words.
This year's Rambo gave the world just what it needed - an unnaturally jacked-up sexagenarian doing gory murder on millions of foreigners. And, make no mistake, Rambo worked on every conceivable level - as a flat-out action movie, as a piece of issue-based social filmmaking, as a way of utterly obliterating the Burmese tourist industry, as a warning against the use of HGH at an advanced age, as a reminder that nobody looks good with a mullet. We could go on. But anyway, that's why we're thrilled at the news that Sylvester Stallone has just signed on to direct Rambo 5, due to start filming next year. What's more, Sylvester Stallone is also thought to be writing Rambo 6. Plus Stallone wants Rambo 7 to be an animated cartoon, and Rambo 8 to be a musical, and Rambo 9 to be a stageplay and Rambo 10 to be a remake of Rambo 6 starring children and puppets and Rambo 11 to be an avant-garde Warhol-style close-up of one of his own eyelashes that lasts for 48 hours. All true. Except for the last 57 words.
