Lindsay Lohan + Sam Ronson x Sex Toys = (Our) Vomit Everywhere When the list is finally produced covering the 'Things We Absolutely Do Not Want To Ever Know About, Ever', this will be right up there at the top. Nobody needs to know that Sam Ronson has apparently bought Lindsay Lohan a big pile of sex toys for her birthday. We didn't need to know, we didn't want to know and we feel a bit sick now. Which is why we had to tell you lot, so you can feel as ill as we do. Yep - sick as a dog.

Britney Spears Has A Dildo-Fanatic Stalker

Britney Spears has all the luck. Not only is she rich and in possession of all her marbles, but now a stranger keeps sending her parcels full of dildos too, the lucky cow.

It's been reported that Britney Spears has somehow managed to pick herself up a stalker. Not just any stalker either, but one who keeps sending her packages of sex toys, threatening porno letters and mutilated pictures of himself squirting an unidentified yellow liquid into his mouth.

The details of Britney Spears' alleged stalker have now been passed on to the FBI, which seems like an odd thing to do. After all, he sounds like a better catch than Kevin Federline.