What would you get if you went back in time, kidnapped Aled Jones before his voice broke, transported him to Germany to whip off his bits, turned them inside-out like a glove, then gave him a blonde asymmetrical fringe, and access to bland music software?
You’d get Teutonic transgender pop sensation, Kim Petras. Or that gurning bisexual one out of Blue. But this isn’t about him.
This is about German 16-year-old Kim Petras who has lived as a girl for most of her life, but only had her man-bits remodelled by surgeons last year, and is celebrating by saturating the three-figure end of the charts with her bland Eurodance single, Die For You.

