HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Kiss’ Gene Simmons To Finally Take His Gigantic Tongue Down The Aisle

September 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Gene Simmons is a man who says he loves women folk, but you get the distinct impression that he actually hates them. Or, worse still, is afraid of them. That’s why he’s always unfurling that gigantic tongue of his at them.

As an aside, it’s hard to picture what went on when he bunked up with Diana Ross. She so slight that you can imagine he wore her like a glove puppet on his monstrous mouth piece.

Either way, all that’s behind him now as he’s all set to make an honest man of himself and marry his fiance of three decades, Shannon Tweed.

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Nick Ashford’s Best Tunes (RIP)

August 4th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Another stinkin’ obituary here, this time, legendary songwriter Nick Ashford who joins Jerry Leiber amongst the choir invisible who are now going to have one helluva songwriting duo working for them now.

Ashford was half of the legendary Motown songwriting duo Ashford & Simpson who penned more astonishing songs than you’ve had hot dinners.

Together, they wrote hits for Diana Ross, Ray Charles, Chaka Khan, Marvin Gaye, Marlena Shaw and, of course, had a number great records out themselves. So, instead of wallowing, let’s look at the amazing music.

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Michael Jackson: The Doggone Girl (And Boys) Are Katherine Jackson’s

July 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson kids, Michael Jackson custody, Katherine Jackson, Debbie Rowe, Diana RossSo far the death of Michael Jackson has given a lot to his fans – but what if you’re a fan of giant anticlimaxes?

Don’t worry – Michael Jackson has you covered, too. Because the custody battle over Michael Jackson’s kids, which looked certain to be a scrap between Katherine Jackson, Debbie Rowe, the children’s biological parents and Diana Flipping Ross, is over. From now on, those kids belong to Katherine Jackson.

The children must be thrilled – because nobody’s more like Michael Jackson than Katherine Jackson. Apart from a half-melted waxwork figurine of a Munch painting, obviously, but that’d just be impractical.

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Michael Jackson Sells His Kids To Diana Ross Or Something

July 2nd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson dead, Michael Jackson will, Michael Jackson kids, Diana RossMichael Jackson’s kids must be going through a horrific time at the moment – their dad has just died, after all.

Worse still, it looks like they’re going to be at the centre of a confusing, emotionally-exhausting custody battle. But maybe, just maybe, help is at hand. And it comes in the shining, mad-eyed, massively unsuitable form of Diana Ross.

That’s right. Michael Jackson stated in his will that if his mother is unable to look after his kids, then Diana Ross – his co-star in The Wiz – should. And if she can’t, then the giant plasticine rabbit from Moonwalker should. Probably.

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