Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Sometimes, here on the hallowed hecklerspray, we like to include things that are barely newsworthy. We’re not talking about the pointless goings-on of celebrities and such, rather, things that are just plain odd.
Like what?
Well, when you see the bemulletted man who we’re calling The Detroit Whistler, you’ll know exactly what we mean. He can whistle like a champ! Not like Roger Whittaker though. This man seems to whistle from his Adam’s Apple. Watch. Widen your eyes.
Alice Cooper is just great isn’t he? He’s the old dame of rock ‘n’ roll, pissing about with snakes, guillotines and fake blood, all the while, churning out goth-pop and stadium horror rock with a cheeky glint in his eye.
He takes his work about as seriously as hecklerspray takes writing.
Yet somehow, despite the Iggy Stooge shock-tactics and releasing LPs that come in schoolgirl knickers, he’s become a hugely famous star. Your mum probably likes some of his tunes. And so, you should have a nice family day-out to his UK Halloween shows which, in fairness, look like they’re going to be one gigantic laughathon. With cobwebs. However, Alice Cooper needs you… if you’re a freakshow of a human that is.
If we were going to summarise and compare Charlie Sheen to something, it would be a gooey scab. Just like a bloody wound, you don't particularly want it there and will do almost anything to initialise its eradication… but rather like picking at it.
We feel this way about Two And A Half Men, a show so devoid of comic value that we feel like offering up our bedsit for our offended American friends just so they can escape its hellishness.
Since snorting his own bodyweight in cocaine, Charlie Sheen hasn't become a Lindsey Lohan figure where we scorn her antics and usher her off to rehab. Instead, we've all witnessed the ramblings of a man in meltdown all thanks to the wonders of Twitter. People refresh their feed every second just to see his latest hilarious tweet about tigerblood, multiple partners or plain gibberish. Due to the powerful social network tool, Charlie Sheen announced a tour to capitalise on his fame which sold out immediately. Unlike the Michael Jackson tour, it actually kicked off, commencing in Detroit on Saturday.
Robocop was, in a way, the original plastic police officer, except he was made of metal and could actually arrest people, unlike his real life counterparts.
Made from the parts of an old police officer who was brutally murdered by Red Foreman from That 70s Show and scraps of metal collected from a dumpster out the back of the General Motors warehouse, Robocop kicked crimes ass all over Detroit.
People loved Robocop because he stood for law and order, by any means necessary. He was also near indestructible and made an awesome whirring sound whenever he moved, plus he had a massive gun and if there's one things American?s love, it's a hero with a miniature cannon strapped to them at all times.
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Detroit, a city best known for birthing Eminem, having thousands of abandoned and burned-out houses and for normally being spelled with a D in the front, really doesn’t have a lot going for it. It used to be the mighty city of motors – taking the wheel while the world sat shotgun. Now though – now it’s fallen. It is but a shadow of it’s former self.
The likely reason why everything there looks so bad is because they have a harbinger of doom on the city payroll. His name is Nain Rouge, and he’s been wreaking absolute havoc in the Motor City since before Henry Ford‘s pappy was a twinkle in his grand-pappy’s eye.
