Details - HecklerSpray

Ashlee Simpson/ Pete Wentz Wedding: The Daddy-Heavy Details

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Saturday’s Ashlee Simpson/ Pete Wentz wedding may have been the wedding of the year, proving forever that this is a lame-ass year.

But maybe you really do think that the Ashlee Simpson/ Pete Wentz wedding was the wedding of the year. Maybe you genuinely believe that the love between Ashlee and Pete is deep and genuine and true and pure and everlasting. Maybe, in other words, you’re an idiot.

If so then you’ll want to read on, because a whole bunch of new Ashlee Simpson/ Pete Wentz wedding secrets have got out. And, somewhat brilliantly, they all seem to involve Ashlee’s overbearing father Joe Simpson, who was so heavily involved in the whole shebang that you can’t help but sense his disappointment that it wasn’t him getting married to his own 23-year-old daughter. Possibly.

Tom Cruise Vs Oprah: More Slightly Underwhelming Details

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Tomorrow’s the big day – the day when Oprah Winfrey goes toe-to-toe with Tom Cruise for a slightly creepy-looking interview.

But tomorrow’s too long to wait! We want to know the skinny about the Tom Cruise/ Oprah Winfrey interview now! So it’s just as well that some poor Oprah-slave has leaked out details of the interview in a not-at-all cynically pre-planned effort to boost Oprah’s ratings tomorrow.

So what hardball questions can we expect Oprah to ask Tom Cruise tomorrow? Well, according to the source, Tom is grilled on his family. And his marriage. And his views on psychiatry. And Scientology. And blah. And snore.

Kevin Federline Named Father Of The Year, Hell Reportedly Still Unfrozen

March 31st, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

Hey, good news for all you jobless, talentless, freeloading, seed spreading, fame whoring dads out there! You may have a chance to become father of the year. That’s right, you may be awarded such a title if you can claim at least one of the following qualifications:

1) The mother of your children likes to repeatedly declare she’s going to make a huge comeback in the world of pop music, y’all, only to repeatedly get even more drunk, more dishevelled, and more bad hair extensiony.

2) You don’t have to bribe bums on the street for a urine sample to pass the weekly court mandated drug tests to prove you’re not an unfit mother.

3) You’re Kevin Federline.

It’s lucky for Kevin Federline that he fits all three qualifications depressingly well, because that clinches him for the title of Father of the Year as granted by Details magazine.

Oh, Larry Birkhead was also at the top of the list, but we just don’t have the time to focus on him because we have to get our space blankets and water canisters together for the imminent coming of Armageddon.