Articles tagged with: depressing
Britney Spears Will Pretty Much Never Be Happy Again
So Britney Spears, you're a number one singer, you can see your children more often and your hair's grown back - are you happy? No. No, obviously Britney Spears isn't happy. In fact, judging by the slivers that have been leaked out about next month's Britney Spears documentary Britney: For The Record, the poor girl seems sadder than ever. In the documentary, you see, Britney Spears compares her entire life to a prison sentence. That's not so bad, really - at least in prison you get three square meals a day, a bed to sleep on and as many violent bummings as a girl could wish for - but Britney Spears goes one step further than that. In fact, Britney Spears says her life is like Groundhog Day. And since that means it'll culminate in a romantic encounter with Andie MacDowell, it's clearly far far worse than any of us could possible imagine.
So Britney Spears, you're a number one singer, you can see your children more often and your hair's grown back - are you happy? No. No, obviously Britney Spears isn't happy. In fact, judging by the slivers that have been leaked out about next month's Britney Spears documentary Britney: For The Record, the poor girl seems sadder than ever. In the documentary, you see, Britney Spears compares her entire life to a prison sentence. That's not so bad, really - at least in prison you get three square meals a day, a bed to sleep on and as many violent bummings as a girl could wish for - but Britney Spears goes one step further than that. In fact, Britney Spears says her life is like Groundhog Day. And since that means it'll culminate in a romantic encounter with Andie MacDowell, it's clearly far far worse than any of us could possible imagine.
Amy Winehouse’s New Album Is All Like Super Depressing
Given everything that she's been through over the last year or so, you'd expect that Amy Winehouse's new songs would be pretty bloody miserable.
But get this, they're not. Rumour has it that Amy Winehouse's new songs are called things like I Love Moonbeams And Glitter-Monkeys and Boys Make My Heart Go Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! and are all so happy that they could probably be used on a Haribo advert.
Just kidding - Amy Winehouse's new songs are so depressing that her friends think she'll kill herself soon. But we had you going, didn't we? April fool!
