When Demi Lovato split from Joe Jonas, it all started going wrong. She ended up suicidal, self harming, developing an eating disorder and in rehab. It was pretty gruesome really, seeing as she was only about six years old or something.
We might have that completely wrong. We can’t tell these young stars apart. However, she had one person she could rely on – Colombian footballing legend Carlos Valderrama.
Recent reports noted that the pair were romantically involved, but alas, before we could all thrill at such an amazing union, it’s believed the couple have now ended their relationship.
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Teenage warbler and spawn of the devil (aka Billy Ray) Miley Cyrus, recently ‘fessed up to being the raging pothead we all suspected at her 19th birthday party in Los Angeles.
Guest included, Kelly Osbourne and Rumer Willis, boyfriend Liam Hemsworth and of course her parents who were probably out the back, line-dancing through the piles of money they’ve made from selling their child to the Disney factory.
Miley was presented with a Bob Marley cake and before devouring it face first, she gave a small speech, made up of words.
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Apparently, Miley Cyrus has put on some weight. No-one actually cares, but y’know, when weight is mentioned around women, everyone starts shrieking like someone just revealed a semtex waistcoat.
Some trollers, trying (successfully) to get a rise, pointed out that Miley had put some pounds on and thought it might be funny to call her ‘fat’.
Of course, Miley Cyrus isn’t fat. However, she does hate skinny women and wandered ever closer to the idiot arena of ‘real women have curves’. Get that thin ladies? You’re body shape is sexless compared to that of someone with a bit of an arse. HURRAY!
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There is a definite trend of companies recycling their expensive adverts of yesteryear in order to save themselves a bit of cash. To be honest, there isn’t a lot we can say as a criticism of that. Times are tough and if your product hasn’t changed very much then why bother going to the effort of making a whole new advert to extoll the exact same virtues.
While there’s nothing wrong with it on the face of it, some ads remind us that they were completely awful in the first place and, like last week, we’re looking into the murky, sugar-loaded world of soft drinks.
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Demi Lovato may well be a young, tender and impressionable woman, but we can all take great joy in her having personal issues because she worked for Disney and it is completely fine to mock anyone who came through its ranks.
Why? Don’t ask us. We didn’t make the rules. Like Blue Peter presenters, if they’re to be roundly hooted at when they balls-up in life.
And so, Lovato’s anguish of what she described as a “nervous breakdown” may well be upsetting normally, the fact that she’s Mickey Mouse’s spawn makes the whole thing rather hilarious! SHE WANTED TO DIE! HAHAHA! WHAT A HOOT!
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It doesn’t matter if you’re a vaguely famous human, you’re still a human. That means you’re still prone to being an unreasonable, ratty, snarky prick. Take troubled Disney star (we’re legally obliged to say that every time we mention her name) Demi Lovato for example. She’s been acting like a tool after being dumped by a Jonas Brother.
She sent a bitchy email, probably flooding her keyboard with mascara filled fluid, to her ex-Joe Jonas’ current beau Ashley Greene.
Apparently, Lovato was so pissed-off by the Clone-ass Brother’s decision to date Ashley Greene and… well… his decision to flaunt her and rub Lovato’s nose in it like forcing a puppy’s face in its own excrement when it makes a mess of the new rug, that she fired off what has been described as “a very nasty e-mail” to Greene.
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Demi Lovato is something of a troubled star. For a kick-off, she’s religious. Secondly, she went out with one of the Jonas Brothers. It is little wonder that she ended up getting treatment for ‘emotional and physical issues’. A god-fearing woman who dry-humped with one of the most boring humans ever to walk the Earth. Poor lamb.
Still, at least she can take solace from the fact that people would like to give her money to bare her genitals.
That’s right. One company who deal in bongo films have made Lovato a most curious offer. Basically, they’re willing to pay for something that doesn’t exist. Presumably, that means we can all have non-existent wanks then? Read More >>>
Look, you don’t mess with Demi Lovato. You just don’t. In fact, you don’t mess with any tweeny Disney stars.
Vanessa Hudgens? No. Miley Cyrus? No, her face has seen things, you can tell. The Jonas Brothers? No, not unless you want to have your arse kicked by the full force of their furious three-way eyebrows/ virginity combo. But you really, really don’t want to mess with Demi Lovato.
You may recall that Demi Lovato recently went to rehab. Some suggested that this was because she was addicted to drugs. Some suggested that it was because she was addicted to alcohol. Some suggested that it was because she was addicted to purging ever meal she eats. But no. If the rumours are correct, then Demi Lovato is in rehab because she’s addicted to punching one dancer in the face once and then freaking out about it. Who knew?
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