15 bell-ends, one job. The race is on to find someone to tongue Alan Sugar’s wrinkled old scrotum. And make lots of money before the economy collapses.

Before this series of The Apprentice started, I took a look through the candidates, allowing them to hang themselves with their own demented words. Now we’re halfway through – seven firings (can you name them all?) and one who gave up before they’d even started – let’s see who’s left.