Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
I’ve reported a lot of tragic celebrity deaths over the past five years, and it never gets easier. This one is especially hard, given that the celebrity this time was so young. Rapper Mac Miller has died at the age of 26.
TMZ, who were the first to report Miller’s death, are saying that he died of a drug overdose.
A few years ago, I made a Facebook status about how I was going to mix myself a drink, take an Ativan, and get a nice, long bath, which I then pointed out were probably Whitney Houston’s last words. Was the status in poor taste? Absolutely. Did I then, and still now, think it was hilarious? Of course.
As it turns out, not everyone shares my sense of humor (I’m SHOCKED, given that none of you EVER hate on me in the comments section), but, apparently Lorde just might, and people are pissed.
Just gonna go ahead and give you a heads up before you get into this, but I’m mega tired and this might get incoherent and weird. Anyway, onto sadder news, a man I was 100% sure would never die has actually died. As the title of this blog suggests, I’m clearly talking about Hugh Hefner.
Hugh was a fucking legend and basically lived the heterosexual male dream life. He was rich, his own boss, self-made, constantly surrounded by beautiful half-naked (and naked) women, had a loving family, and more girlfriends than I could count at some points. I’d say he’s in a better place now, but could heaven really be any better than the life this guy lead?
I’m someone who has relentlessly ragged on Ariana Grande for years, but today I’m going to do something totally different and show her genuine sympathy. Last night while performing in Manchester, UK, two bombs were set during Ariana Grande’s concert, killing 19 and injuring at least 50. Some of which were children.
While police have obtained a suspect and are confirming this as a terrorist attack, it’s just another shitty reminder that the world is horrifically unsafe.
When I woke up today and found out that Chris Cornell, lead singer of Soundgarden, Audioslave, and Temple of the Dog, had died at the young age of 52, I was pretty shocked, and it seemed like the rest of the world was as well.
As the day wore on, we even more tragically learned that Cornell had died of an apparent suicide, hanging himself in his hotel bathroom. You’re lucky you got 3 hilarious blogs out of me yesterday, because this is going to be a real downer.
I hate to hit your Sunday funday with a major bummer, but famed actor Bill Paxton has died at the age of 61 due to complication from heart surgery. Apparently he suffered from a stroke not long after his surgery passed away.
You probably know Bill from such mega hits as Titanic, Aliens, and Twister. Or, if you’re like me, you know him as the evil big brother from Weird Science, a movie that spawned the mediocre 90s television show that I’m pretty sure only I watched starring Vanessa Angel. Yeah, I’m getting a bit off topic here…
Anyone who reads this blog knows that I am an insane conspiracy theorist when it comes to Kylie Jenner. I genuinely believe the original Kylie is dead or in hiding or being held prisoner somewhere while Kris Jenner keeps giving us these iPhone upgrade Kylies in her place.
WELL, today my friend, Holly, who is obviously aware of my insanity, sent me a story about how on Kylie’s dumb as fuck and not-at-all sexy calendar, they put her birthday as August 20th, even though the REAL Kylie’s birthday is the 10th. Total accident, or subtle hint that the Kylie Jenner we see is not the real Kylie Jenner?
Mere hours ago I posted part 2 of a series of GIFs representing how I’ve been handling the shit show that is 2016. When I posted that blog this morning I figured: there are only four days left to this shit year, what other major pop culture/global tragedies could even happen?
To that, 2016 said: Ha! Screw you, bitch, I’m taking Princess Leia. Which it then did. I am incredibly, INCREDIBLY sad to report that at the young age of 60, the iconic Carrie Fisher has passed away.
A couple of months back I did a blog on how I’d been handling 2016 via GIFs. At the time, I dealt with my feelings about everything from Beyoncé’s Lemonade to Brangelina’s split, the shit show election to Kimye outing Taylor Swift as shady, Brexit to the constant drivel that comes out of Lena Dunham’s mouth.
I really thought that, with a mere two and a half months left to the year, nothing could get much worse (or better). I thought maybe pop culture had blown my mind enough for one year. But nope, Trump got elected and for some reason we still let Lena Dunham speak publically. Here’s how I’ve been handling 2016’s bullshit since October 8th, when I last aired my feelings. Once again, presented in GIFs…
One of my favorite things about October is watching Halloween and horror movies. There are the obvious ones like Hocus Pocus, Ernest Scared Stupid, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and, of course, any of the Halloween movies, but there are actually so many AMAZING horror movies that don’t get a ton of play and definitely won’t be appearing on AMC’s Fear Fest.
I am CLEARLY going to spend my Halloween watching the original Halloween and Halloween 2 because I have been doing that every single Halloween for nearly 20 years, but this weekend I hope to indulge in a few other gems. So if you’re looking for something spooky to watch this weekend that hasn’t come on tv a million times, how about giving one of these movies a try!
