Maybe it would drop below the ranking of something like ’supermodel massage artist who earns £500 a minute and is in constant demand’ or a hecklerspray employee, but all in all it’s a role that you certainly wouldn’t sniff at.

Though there would surely be some form of sniffing involved. And general inhaling. And breaking down of constituent ingredients into something more easily absorbed into the bloodstream. You get the idea.

But alas, for two people have been arrested on charges of being the beehived crooner’s personal suppliers. The licence to print money may be no more, it would seem.

Shock of all shocks, the news of the alleged dealers being arrested can be tracked back to the infamous video that everyone in the world knows far too much about – even the ones that don’t give two piece of caked-up shit.

The same video that everyone in the world wasn’t shocked about, nor did they care about. But it turns out that the police do care about it – not enough to charge young Amy, seemingly (though what they could do her for is up for debate) – but enough to track down the vagabonds that provided Winehouse with the naughty non-prescription drugs.

So it came to be that two (alleged) bad dudes, allegedly named John Blagrove and Cara Burton, have been charged with conspiracy to supply cocaine and MDMA (that’s as in Ecstasy and not a new, fashionable band, allegedly).

The alleged pair are allegedly set to have a court date at some point, alledgely meaning even more people that Amy allegedly knows could end up in the clink. If their alleged crimes end up being more than just allegations.

Which would mean that Amy Winehouse would be alone in the free world, save for… *shudder*… Pete fucking Doherty. Though there is always hope that someone will take incarcerated hubby Blake Fielder-Civil up on his offer and twot the whiny smackhead.

Which would leave Amy free to… we don’t know… have a music career again?

It would certainly be a novelty. Allegedly.

Nineteen-year-old Peaches was secretly filmed offering Jonny Blagrove and Cara Burton £140 in return for some unspecified goods.

Then Blagrove, ‘dealer to the stars’, tells Peaches what she wants will actually cost her £190.

The extra £50 quid doesn’t deter Peaches, she is after all the daughter of modern day Jesus, Bob Geldof, and it’s good to see the royalties from I don’t like Mondays aren’t going to waste.

Peaches is then reportedly recorded saying:

I’m going to need Valium tomorrow after this.

It is because of this statement that police strongly suspect something drug related has happened here, as Valium is often used as a comedown by professional users. But, until the investigation is carried out, who’s to say Peaches wasn’t buying £190 worth of Red Bull? We just don’t know.

Maybe she was buying an X-Box 360 with GTA IV off them? The excitement of getting her hands on that could require a good dosage of Valium to help her get to sleep at night, in order to get up early, refreshed for another day doing whatever it is that she does.

The secretly filmed footage was found on a memory stick that was seized by police from Jonny Blagrove and Cara Burton, as part of an investigation into what they suspect is a celebrity drugs empire run by the couple.

A police source told the News Of The World:

She will be interviewed some time this week and asked to explain what is happening in the video and why she is handing money over to the couple. It is all part of a large investigation into alleged drugs dealing.

And, on that very same stick, there is also the footage of Amy Winehouse allegedly smoking crack at a house party last January. One hell of a part going on in that pen-drive.

All the footage had been deleted from the memory stick but police, using special secret police techniques, managed to recover the lost data, which is vaguely terrifying.

Let’s just hope girlfriends don’t figure it out anytime soon, or else it’s time for an acid bath.

It has also been suggested that the filming was carried out by the alleged drug-pushing couple, perhaps in an effort to blackmail Peaches.

If it is found that Peaches did indeed purchase illegal substances, she could face a jail term but, as she’s a white, female, middle-class, first time offender and the daughter of Christ, we can safely assume a slap on the wrist will suffice.

Read More – Peaches Geldof To Be Questioned Over Drugs Footage – EntertainmentWise