David Spade has become a father. Accidentally. According to reports, David Spade had a brief relationship with a Playboy Playmate called Jillian Grace not so long ago and he accidentally got a baby wedged up there or something and now it’s fallen out of her. We’re not sure how the whole pregnancy thing works, to be honest.

Why’s that worse than Bristol Palin’s pregnancy? Simple – Bristol Palin can look the world in the eye and tell everyone that the father of her child is a rugged, athletic 18-year-old brute at the peak of his sexual condition. But Jillian Grace? Every time she looks at her new baby it’s just going to be a tragic reminder that she let David Spade stick it up her a couple of times once, the poor woman.

Aside being the hilariously effeminate one from, oh who are we kidding, from everything he’s ever starred in, David Spade has been a peripheral member of the Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards divorce clusterfuck for quite some time.

In fact, it’s probably fair to say that until recently David Spade was best known for being the man who Heather Locklear got together with after her divorced husband Richie Sambora ran off with her best friend Denise Richards after she got divorced from Charlie Sheen, but before Heather Locklear went a bit mental and allegedly tried to kill herself. Clear?

Good. Not that it matters now, because now David Spade is most famous for accidentally knocking up a woman spectacularly out of his league and then begrudgingly accepting parental responsibilities once it was born. The New York Daily News reports:

The “Rules of Engagement” star is the father of a girl born to Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace last week, his rep has confirmed… The 45-year-old announced in January that he had a “brief relationship” with Grace, Playboy’s Miss March 2005. “If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility.”

It’s so sweet, we think we might cry. All children should remember the day that their father reluctantly gave a conditional acceptance of responsibility statement that implied that the kid might not be his because its mother always seemed like a bit of a whore. We know we do!

There aren’t any details of the David Spade baby – no name, no location. However, it shouldn’t be too hard to track the kid down, because Jillian Grace looks quite a lot like David Spade – which, by the way, is quite creepy in itself – so we’re the guessing the baby is all blonde and underdeveloped and whatnot. There can’t be too many of those around, can there?

David Spade hasn’t seen his baby yet, but he hopes to when there’s a gap in his sitcom schedule. Which might sound callous of him, but don’t forget that this is David Spade we’re talking about – most of his sitcoms only last for a handful of episodes anyway, so he’ll probably get to visit before the week is out.