Jennifer Hudson is still relatively new to this fame thing, so we can forgive her for not knowing all the rules.

Like pregnancy, for example. Jennifer Hudson didn’t inform the media of her pregnancy. That’s fine if you do a J-Lo and swan about for the full pregnancy in a series of increasingly ridiculous outfits. But Jennifer Hudson didn’t do that – she just got pregnant, shut up and then had a baby.

Well two can play at that game. We’re saying nothing about the baby. Apart from this. And the six paragraphs after this. But that’s it, you hear? For today.

You can tell a lot about a celebrity by the names they choose for their children. If they give a child a regular name like Kevin or Mark, they’re either normal or hopelessly unimaginative. If, on the other hand, they call their child Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa, then they’re Lisa Bonet and words can’t express the pity we feel for the child.

But if a celebrity gives their baby exactly the same name as its father, well then that sounds like a sign of massive egomania. So congratulations to Jennifer Hudson and her uncontrollable egomaniacal lunatic of a fiance David Otunga, because they’ve just welcomed baby David Otunga Jr into the world. MSNBC reports:

“The baby is beautiful and perfect,” says Hudson’s rep Lisa Kasteler. “His parents are ecstatic.” David weighed in at 7 lbs., 14 oz., and is the first child for Hudson and her fiancé David Otunga. The couple kept the sex of the baby a delivery surprise.

That’s David the child who weighs 7 lbs., 14 oz, not David the father. At least we assume so – we don’t think we’ve ever seen a picture of David Otunga, and Jennifer Hudson notoriously likes to keep her personal life private, so for all we know she’s getting married to a man with the exact weight and dimensions of a newborn baby. This same name business is going to get very confusing – especially when we run that ‘David Otunga Craps In His Nappy’ story. And, trust us, we are going to run that story.

Regardless of that, though, Jennifer Hudson’s pregnancy was marked by a staunch unwillingness to confirm her state to the media, only allowing for a tiny amount of speculation at the Michael Jackson memorial concert. While at the time that may have felt like the right thing to do – giving her the opportunity to experience the magic of pregnancy without the stress of any external pressures – there’s a good chance that Jennifer Hudson will regret it in later years.

Because, really, nobody wants to wake up one morning filled with the crippling guilt that comes because they didn’t roll around in a sandbox full of blusher, then put on a manky jacket and jut out their veiny, oversized gut on the cover of an internationally-read magazine like Christina Aguilera did. And Jennifer Hudson is sadly going to have to live with that for the rest of her life.

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Jennifer Hudson’s a wildcat, isn’t she. For instance, remember that time she got drunk, punched a bear in the face and then skateboarded down the Eiffel Tower?

You don’t? Well, that’s because it never happened. Jennifer Hudson isn’t a wildcat at all. Jennifer Hudson is a bit boring. In fact, it’s impossible to make Jennifer Hudson interesting. Jennifer Hudson wouldn’t even be interesting if she sneezed fireworks and farted mice.

Having said that, Jennifer Hudson has just announced her engagement to David Otunga, who’s apparently a man of some sort. And, let’s be fair, that is interesting, provided that a) you know who David Otunga is, b) you care enough about Jennifer Hudson to invest in her personal life and c) you’re a gormless dumdum of the absolute highest order.

If you look at Jennifer Hudson’s accomplishments, she’s actually achieved quite a lot. She’s been an American Idol finalist, she’s won 29 awards including an Oscar for her first-ever film role, the city of Chicago has named a day after her and she starred in the Sex And The City movie so she’s probably seen Kim Cattrall‘s baps quite close up.

But has any of that phased Jennifer Hudson? No it hasn’t. Or perhaps maybe it has. The truth is that nobody knows if any of that has phased Jennifer Hudson or not because nobody cares enough about Jennifer Hudson to find out.

Forget about Jennifer Hudson being so boring that the only way she could be more boring is for her to reclassify herself as algae, though, because Jennifer Hudson’s only gone and got engaged.

Who to? Well, since Jennifer Hudson is an Oscar-winning actress, we’re sure she’s had her pick of the A-list. That’s why her new fiance is David Otunga, who’s apparently from the reality TV show I Love New York 2. If you haven’t seen I Love New York 2, it’s a lot like I Love New York 1. And if you haven’t seen I Love New York 1 then congratulations, because you now share something in common with every single human being alive. MTV reports:

Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson and boyfriend, David Otunga, got engaged over the weekend. The couple’s rep spoke exclusively to People magazine saying “I can confirm that Jennifer got engaged to her boyfriend David on Friday night in L.A.”

Apparently David Otunga proposed to Jennifer Hudson with a diamond engagement ring on her 27th birthday which seems to us like a bit of a cop-out, like the sort of thing you do when you don’t know what present to buy them. Chances are David Otunga was backwards and forwards between a marriage proposal and some HMV vouchers for quite some time.

Anyway, no date has been set for Jennifer Hudson’s marriage. Or maybe it has. We really don’t think we’ve got it in us to actually go and check, you know.