David Beckham - HecklerSpray

The 10 Most Beautiful Families in Hollywood

June 10th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

sexiest

To the surprise of no one, Hollywood is filled with hot babes. Hell, I make a minor living talking about how beautiful everyone is, and, in most cases, sexiness doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Hollywood doesn’t just have hot families, it has straight up stunning families where everyone looks so perfect you could just barf (well, I couldn’t. I have esophagus problems).

Trying to pick just ten families that epitomize perfection was easier said than done, but these ten will probably make you look at your own family and say “Oh my god, I never realized what hideous hobos you all were!” and look at your children and say?”Get cute, ugly!”

10 Male Celebs That Look Fantastic in Their Underwear

May 25th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Last week, I did a post about 10 female celebs who had robust rumps. I got a lot of great feedback, but a lot of ladies were like “Hey girl, where is a male version of this?!” Well ladies, don’t get your panties in a twist (or do, if that’s your thing!) because the list you’ve been waiting for is here!

These ten men look so fine in their underwear that even other men can’t help but go DAAAAAYYYYUMMMM. So sit back and enjoy these Tom Hunks in their underpants (see what I did there? #puns #bunspuns)

Grossly Overweight David Beckham Has to Use Body Double In New Commercial

February 8th, 2013 By Chris Chambers

A?gratuitous new commercial for H&M features nearly a full 100 seconds of the glorious David Beckham running around in just his panties.?

Unfortunately, however, instead of focusing on the?marvelously snug fit and obvious quality of the underwear being advertised, some?fuckfaces are criticizing David for not doing every milli-second of his own stunts.

Keira Knightley’s Weird Chin Thing And Other Annoyances

September 17th, 2012 By Chris Starr

Keira ‘The Chin’ Knightley has become known for a specific type of acting (namely, not-acting). That’s kind of unfair. The woman does act – and actually acts quite well at times, despite what her fiercest critics say – but she doees tend to rely on a certain number of shortcuts.

You know the ones I mean. Almost all actors do it. George Clooney does this thing with his eyebrows, but because it’s not quite as noticeable, people don’t pick up on it.

David Beckham Says His Children Are Proud Of His 20ft Testicles

February 22nd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

When you look at your parents, are you proud? If you are, you shouldn’t be. They gave birth to you for a start and that’s as big a failure as it gets. However, David Beckham’s children are very proud indeed.

They should be. They live in a number of gigantic houses and will never have to work a day in their pampered little lives.

And what are they thankful for? David’s footballing exploits? Victoria’s singing career? (Hahahah! HAHAHA!) No. They are most proud of their father’s groin area, complete with 20ft ballbag! Hurray for staring at your father’s genitals!

Staring At David Beckham’s Groin Is Fine, Obviously (Unless You’re His Daughter)

February 3rd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Women! When you’ve stopped complaining about the negative, overtly sexual images of women in media, which breed an unrealistic body-ideal in young girls, we’d like to point you in the direction of David Beckham in his underpants.

See, ol’ GoldenNads has done a photoshoot for some undercrackers he’s flogging through dreary clothing bazaar, H&M.

A number of women have stopped worrying about the patriarchy long enough to admire Beckham’s bulge and sigh with feint arousal everytime they see it. So what does David have to say about it? Well, it doesn’t involve stuffing but it does involve his daughter.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

REEM or D*REAM?

Folded

The X-Men Guide To Puberty – Thank god. How would we ever have coped without it?
Rihanna’s Been Censored – OH GOD NO!!!!
Who Is Football’s Biggest Tit? – Andy Dawson asks the question on everyone’s lips.
Will Self – Would anyone ever be able to live on without seeing him wearing a leopard print smok?
This Is Satire – Bear that in mind.

Creased

Flaming Lips Do It In A Human Skull – Yes… okay… right…
David Beckham – Send the poet your bloody boots!

Harper Seven Beckham Is More Powerful Than You?ll Ever Be

September 14th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

A dominant role in society is something that everybody craves. As you're reading this, you\’ll be imagining who the head honcho is in your boring office job, group of friends or members in the AA club.

What kind of person becomes a leader? Is it the bloke who makes all sorts of hilarious wisecracks? Or that weird looking sod who never gets involved, but always offers sound advice?

But who cares about real life people when there are celebs everywhere! Are we concerned that we?ll never meet them after spending thousands of pounds on travel so we can gawp at them? Of course not. So who's scorching hot and who's totally not? According to InStyle the top honour has gone to someone who can't feed herself properly. Not Paris Hilton, but Harper Seven Beckham.

Victoria Beckham Won’t Be Having Her Stupid Baby This Week, Okay?

July 5th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The birth of any child is a wonderful thing… if of course, by ‘wonderful’, you actually mean ‘remarkably irritating’. See, when someone shunts a child from their middle, we’re supposed to treat it like some kind of miracle. Of course, no-one coos and fawns when someone brings a newborn foal into the office, still covered in amniotic gunk.

Childbirth isn’t any bigger or smarter than any other creature squirting out their shitting offspring. It’s dull and further proof that our future as humans is doomed as each baby grows up to be yet another alcopop drinking div in bad Asda George t-shirts.

When celebrities have babies growing in them, it is of even less relevance to us all, yet still we dribble enthusiastically, poised over our keys to tap out feigned glee to twitter accounts and Facebook fan pages. Victoria Beckham’s imminent idiot is one such example.

Victoria Beckham To Allow That Monster Eva Longoria To Be Godmother

June 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Victoria Beckham is having a baby and we’re supposed to give a flying fuck. No, we are. See, even though we won’t ever meet her, like anything she does or indeed, show even the vaguest flicker of interest in her vapid life, we must greet her new child with ticker tape. And hand grenades if you like.

We just don’t care.

We also don’t care that Posh Spice, which we’ll call her because it invariably irritates her, has asked stupid Eva Longoria to be the Godmother of her unborn daughter. A daughter that will, like all newborn babies, will look like a cross between a glans and a close-up of a tick.