Dark Knight - HecklerSpray

Resident Evil 6 ? Will It Be Gash?

August 5th, 2012 By Paul Pencott

Video games get sequels all the time. We’re near-constantly being beaten around the head with them. Yet, there are few video games that prompt more feverish excitement amongst fans than the Resident Evil series, so let's have a gander at the trailer for Resident Evil 6 shall we?

The uneducated will confuse this with the trailer for some dreadful Underworld-style actual film, but hardcore Resident Evil fans will be simultaneously excited and dismayed by the teasers for ?the gaming experience of 2012? (ie: ?the gaming experience of four hours of 2012 so they can be the first to post a review on gamefaqs.com?).

Use your bleary, bloodshot eyes to watch the trailer and read our jokes over the jump:

Amy Adams Confirmed As Lois Lane In New Superman Film To Complete Boring Casting News

January 16th, 2017 By Mof Gimmers

Have you heard of Amy Adams? No? She’s an actress. Or something. We assume so because she’s just be handed the role of Lois Lane in the latest Superman film. That’s for definite. The producers have confirmed it and everything.

Director Zack Snyder says that this three-time Oscar nominee (best foley artist? *shrug) has “the talent to capture all of the qualities we love about Lois: smart, tough, funny, warm, ambitious and, of course, beautiful”.

And raven haired! Wait! Uh. Looks like Snyder will have to buy a wig or some Garnier Nutrisse or whatever it is girls poison their hair with.

Zack Snyder Is Going To Direct New Superman Movie (May Contain Giant Blue CGI Member)

October 5th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Zack Snyder, the bloke who directed 300 and gave cinemas a swaying CGI penis in Watchmen, is going to direct the new Superman movie. The film is due out next year and will be written by Christopher Nolan, the director of the Dark Knight movie.

That’s all rather exciting isn’t it? It’ll be nice to have a Superman film which isn’t all glossy and hokey. We’d like to see Superman going really, really dark and depressing.

It’s believed that Snyder landed the gig ahead of other people with names, notably, Darren Aronofsky, Ben Affleck, Matt Reeves and Tony Scott. If this new Superman film is anything Dark Knight, then we should be in for a treat.

WEBTHUMP! Wednesday 14 January 2008

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – Some Germans once tried to blow up Hitler to prove they weren’t all monsters. This video, however, makes the case much more effectively. Remake this, Tom Cruise…

9 – Heartbreaking self-written celebrity Wikipedia pages – Cracked

8 – Snowmobile idiot – I Am Bored

7 – This man is a fool – Metro

6 – Today in ridiculous Dark Knight news: a recasting of The Joker – MTV

5 – James Bond fights everyone – Spikedhumor

4 – Discover what’s on the exact other side of the world to where you are. Us? Water – Antipodr

Heath Ledger & Several Less-Dead People Win Golden Globes

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The Golden Globes are like the fun Oscars, mainly due to a lack of Rob Lowe singing duets of Proud Mary with Snow White.

But last night’s Golden Globes had an unavoidably sad shadow looming over them. Was this because it was the first major awards show to honour the late Heath Ledger‘s role in The Dark Knight by giving him the award for Best Supporting Actor? In part, yes.

But mainly it’s because Mickey Rourke decided to use his Golden Globes acceptance speech to eulogise some of his dead pets. And because Rumer Willis‘ face gives us the creeps.

Batman Sues The Dark Knight Over Countless Illegalities

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

The last time Batman was in court it was for the now infamous case Batman vs. Dick Grayson’s cold, cold heart, in which the Dark Knight awkwardly sued his only co-worker for unrequited love. We’re not sure how it ended, but we seem to remember some major civil right coming out of the thing.

The next time he was in court was for a space-camp lawsuit, and the time after that it was because Catwoman smacked him really hard with a bull-whip once. It was in the middle of a battle. The judge sided with the lady, possibly because she was all leathered-up.

But as anybody who has ever sued judicially knows, three lawsuits are never enough. That’s why Batman is currently sticking it to Christopher Nolan for getting all up in his business and ruining the awesome life he once had. Wait – did we say ‘..he once had’? Because we meant to say ‘..it once had.’ The Batman in this case is some crappy city in Turkey.

Batman 3: Cher Is Catwoman, So Feel Free To Gag

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There’s never been a perfect Catwoman, and that’s because no Catwoman has ever straddled a cannon and bellowed If I Could Turn Back Time with her arse out.

But that’s potentially going to change with the release of Batman 3, or whatever the sequel to The Dark Knight is going to be called. That’s because, according to The Mirror, Christopher Nolan‘s first choice to play Catwoman is none other than 62-year-old surgically modified warbler Cher.

Phew, and to think that Angelina Jolie was almost Catwoman, too. That would have just been sick.

Mary-Kate Olsen Demands Immunity: World Raises Collective Eyebrow

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

The loss of innocence is a big thing in the life, marking the point when they stop being a child and truly become an adult.

When it comes to the world of celebrities, however, this distinction is harder to make. Thank golly gosh for the Olsens then, who we’ve been able to watch all their lives as they became adults! With problems!

The latest occurrence in Mary-Kate Olsen’s quest for womanhood has come as she seeks immunity from prosecution in the investigation into Heath Ledger’s death earlier this year. Oh how she’s grown!

Morgan Freeman Has a Car Accident: is ‘Recovering’

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Unfortunately, it’s not a DVD outtake for Driving Miss Daisy – that would be much easier to make light of.

No – Morgan Freeman is the latest to be involved in the so-called ‘curse’ of The Dark Knight, after he was involved in a car accident on Sunday night, which officials referred to as ‘serious’.

The 71-year-old actor will require surgery on a shattered elbow, as well as time for other less serious injuries to his neck and shoulder to heal. While initial reports said Freeman was in a serious state, these have since rescinded and he is expected to make a comfortable, if slow, recovery from his injuries.

The Goonies 2: Will it be Funny to See a Fully-Grown Man Truffle Shuffling?

March 25th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Do we really need to see a grown man truffle shuffle?

That’s the question that has been buzzing around in our heads for the past few hours after news that there’s a distinct chance that the Goonies 2 film, rumoured for so very long, is actually in the early stages of real, bona-fide production.

And if the sources are to be believed, this isn’t a case of The Lost Boys 2: Straight To DVD And Missing The Point Of The First Completely – this is something Warner Brothers want to actually try and get right.

So how do we feel about that? Well, I would say we have mixed emotions.