Everyone has their own way of mourning the dead, but we can all agree that becoming creepily attached to the deceased's used underwear is perfectly normal.

That's why we're not going to judge Larry Birkhead, even though he's just decided that the best way for Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn to remember her mother is to spend $2,800 on bits of her sexy lingerie at a charity auction.

Of course, Larry Birkhead isn't going to just give Anna Nicole Smith's underwear to Dannielynn right away – he wants to wait until she grows up first. Because if he gives it to her now she'll be far too young to develop any decent long-lasting psychological scars, and where's the fun in that? No, that's why Larry Birkhead is keeping Anna Nicole Smith's lingerie in a safe place for the time being – on his face while he sleeps. Or he isn't. Don't quote us.

Anna Nicole Smith may have died 16 months ago, but she'll always be with us – just so long as those who knew her keep doing all kinds of mental crap that freaks the living cocks out of us on a regular basis.

Which, to be fair, they are. If they're not squabbling over who got Anna Nicole Smith pregnant, they're allegedly having gay sex with everyone or trademarking creepy little phrases that they said to her while she slept or trying to sell videos of Anna Nicole Smith's breast enlargement operations. So thank you, everyone – you're making sure that we never forget what a scary, clownfaced, barely-coherent, drug-bloated star of light erotica Anna Nicole Smith really was.

But what if none of that actually creeped you out all that much? What if you've always wanted to feel your skin crawl when thinking about Anna Nicole Smith, but you've never managed it? Don't worry – Larry Birkhead feels your pain. That's why he's bought a lot of Anna Nicole Smith's sexy underwear at auction and plans to let her daughter Dannielynn play with it.

There you go – your skin's crawling away like a good'un now, isn't it. Feel free to even let out a disturbed yelp or two as well if it helps. E! Online has more:

Baby daddy Larry Birkhead is looking forward to showing 1-year-old Dannielynn the lingerie he purchased at a celebrity auction on Saturday night, a pink bustier (bought for $1,800) and white negligee (bought for $1,000) once worn by the late model for a Playboy photo shoot. Smith's onetime boyfriend said he wants to make sure the young heiress has something to remember her mom by.

Actually, that makes quite a lot of sense – aside from a crateful of empty prescription medication bottles, perhaps sexy underwear really is the best way for Dannielynn to remember Anna Nicole Smith.

One day, when the baby has reached an appropriate age, Larry Birkhead can sit her down on her knee, show her the lingerie and explain that the shiny clothes are what mommy used to wear to hide her crippling emotional dependency on others. It will be a touching moment, although a quick blast of that video where Anna Nicole Smith has it off with a maid in the bath would have probably achieved the same result and saved Larry a few thousand dollars.

Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn Hope has endured a tragic first year that involved two close family deaths and a messy, drawn-out paternity case.

But none of that matters any more, because Dannielynn is rich! Rich beyond her wildest dreams! Woo hoo!

Dannielynn has just been officially made the sole beneficiary to Anna Nicole Smith's estate. That means that Dannielynn gets to inherit everything that Anna Nicole Smith owned – all her cash, all the potential inheritance from Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to J Howard Marshall, that box of nightmarish clown make-up, the genetic lack of self-esteem – everything.

Of all the things that Anna Nicole Smith left the world after her death, with the possible exception of that video of her absent-mindedly playing with her tits in the bath, none have been precious than her daughter Dannielynn Hope. And we mean 'precious' in the Lord Of The Rings sense, too, because ever since Anna Nicole Smith died people have been squabbling over her like a gaggle of greedy Gollums.

You see, Dannielynn might one day be worth hundreds of millions of dollars if the ongoing battle for Anna Nicole Smith's share of her inheritance from her 14-month marriage to nearly-dead oil billionaire J Howard Marshall ever goes her way. And that meant that people were fighting over Dannielynn before Anna Nicole Smith was even cold.

Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer Howard K Stern said he was the father, some creepy ancient German prince said he was the father, Anna Nicole Smith's trainer said he could have been the father and, let's face it, any man on Earth with a semi-functional penis stood a decent chance of fathering Dannielynn too. But eventually Larry Birkhead was officially named as Dannielynn's father – although that doesn't mean he can swan around spending all her money.

That's because Howard K Stern has rushed through a petition to declare Dannielynn the sole beneficiary of everything Anna Nicole Smith owned, as E! Online reports:

Larry Birkhead's 18-month-old daughter with Anna Nicole Smith was declared the sole beneficiary to the late model's estate Tuesday, after a Los Angeles judge approved Howard K. Stern's petition to clarify his departed paramour's earthly intentions. "We and Mr. Stern always believed that Anna Nicole never intended to disinherit her daughter," Stern's attorney, Bruce S. Ross, said after court Tuesday. "I'm pleased to say this chapter in the saga is closed." L.A. Superior Court Judge Mitchell Beckloff's ruling also establishes a trust on Dannielynn's behalf, with her father and Stern serving as cotrustees.

This news, while hardly surprising, does mean that Dannielynn will have to want for nothing as she grows up. Although Anna Nicole Smith's assets were only valued at $710,000, the J Howard Marshall money will increase that amount exponentially, plus the money from Dannielynn's magazine photoshoots last year will also contribute to the fund.

And, let's not forget that if Dannielynn ever finds that alleged video of Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern sucking each other off, she can blackmail both of them for everything they've got as well. Either way it's a result.

Read more:

Dannielynn Named Anna Nicole's Sole Heir - E! Online