Daniel Radcliffe - HecklerSpray

It’s Time Daniel Radcliffe Accepted That He Will Always Be Harry Potter

September 12th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Bless Daniel Radcliffe. He keeps on trying to be a serious thespian and we’re all just sticking our fingers in our ears and yelling ‘You’re a wizard, Harry’.?

Props to him for even continuing to go after acting roles. Most people would be happy spending the rest of their days doing the doggy paddle in a pool filled with Dom Perignon, surrounded by a harem of scantily clad supermodels.

His newest role is in the the movie?Horns?and unlike previous jobs, it doesn’t involve any part of his anatomy entering a horse. OK, so maybe there needs to be a slight change to the title of this post – Daniel Radcliffe will never be anything other than Harry Potter and That Guy Who Got His Wang Out On Stage To Ride A Horse.

Daniel Radcliffe Has Loads of Gay Sex in His New Film

January 21st, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Daniel Radcliffe’s new movie, “Kill Your Darlings,” in which he portrays?Beat poet Alan Ginsberg as a college student, premiered Friday night at the Sundance Film Festival and was met with?gasping astonishment over its explicit gay sex scenes. In the movie, Daniel, as Alan,?uses drugs, masturbates, and has straight-up gay sex.

In interviews about his performance, Daniel has expressed?confusion as to why?it’s?causing such a flutter. He points out that heterosexual?sex scenes are prevalent, to say the least, and?gay sex scenes are not so terribly rare anymore even in mainstream films.

Harry Potter Can’t Handle His Drink Because He’s A Massive Wimp

February 3rd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Harry Potter star, Harry Potter (or, Daniel Radcliffe as his mum refers to him when she’s shouting abuse up the stairs) is a wimp of the highest order. Why? Because wickle Dan Dan can’t handle his ale.

And he’s proud to admit it.

Apparently, Radcliffe had a drink problem. The problem was that, every single stinkin’ time he drank some lovely booze, he’d ‘black out’. Get that! He didn’t pass out a few times. He blacked out so frequently it became ‘his thing’. What a wimp. He probably passes out after eating those horrible chocolates with?liqueurs inside them.

Daniel Radcliffe Hates Rupert Grint; Just Another Life Ruined By Ed Sheeran

January 23rd, 2012 By Robin Darke

We all love the Harry Potter don't we? The books are the perfect way to get kids reading and introduces more morbid elements of death and orphans in a child-friendly manner. The films are great hangover fodder, and are one of the biggest British export since Katie Price?s vagina.

All the children on them look so happy to be acting with them don't they? Look at those cherub faces. Not knowing what real life will hold for them after the films finish. We heard that the girl who played Pansy Parkinson is teetering on a total K-hole after taking a great big E through her eyes. They?ll be friends for life once they all have a whip round and throw an intervention for her.

we're romantics at heart aren't we?

Nick Jonas To Go Naked On Stage, Just In Case Your Daughter Had Forgotten About Him

January 19th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Puny Disney milktoast, Nick Jonas, is so lacking in edge that he’s akin to some amorphous blob with eyebrows. However, it is vitally important that young women fancy him, or else he loses all sense of value to his team.

So what can he do? How can he aimlessly wander into the fantasies of pre-pubescent women again? There must be something!

Hey! What’s this? Here’s a news story about Nick Jonas feeling that he’s “open” to the idea of going naked on stage. How useful!

We Live In A World Where You Can Wipe Poo On Daniel Radcliffe’s Face

December 30th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ever looked at Daniel Radcliffe’s face and thought to yourself: ‘That looks exactly like the kind of thing I’ve been after, especially regarding the absorbing of my faecal matter’. Well have you? If not, then you’re stupid.

Why?

Well, that’s because you can now completely and legally wipe your mucky hoon on Daniel Radcliffe’s face. Obviously, the Harry Potter star isn’t particularly thrilled about it, but that matters not because his world is about to become rather 2 Girls 1 Cup and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Idiot Harry Potter Fans Stand In The Weather All Night For No Good Reason At All

July 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Thousands of Harry Potter fans with nothing better to do decided to stand in a queue all night while the heavens opened on them, making them wetter than Ron Weasley’s demeanour. Trafalgar Square is now overrun with Potterists with the local council considering exterminating them like rats as they breed in the streets, birthing runts diseased with magic.

Of course, these poor souls stood beneath the rainclouds ahead of the world premiere of the final instalment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (pt 2), posing the question – why not wait a couple of weeks and watch it online where you won’t get pneumonia from sleeping like tramps in the road?

Naturally, they’ll be hanging around to see the cast, which includes recovering alcoholic Daniel Radcliffe and Emma ‘Are We Still Calling It A New Haircut?’ Watson. It’ll be thrilling for the stars to meet their fans, who will, by the time it gets to this evening,? smell so bad that even a botfly would vomit in their presence, refusing to lay their eggs in the foetid skin of the Potterites.

Harry Potter Was A Vomiting Alcoholic

July 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Daniel Radcliffe seems like a nice chap doesn’t he? That’s despite that fact he got naked once and showed everyone his ghastly, sinewy, gym-honed body which made him look like a pale He-Man figure (didn’t see it? Click here at your peril).

How does someone get the confidence to derobe before the public’s eyes? Easy. Get absolutely hammered ’til your liver starts to hurt.

See, what you didn’t know about the Harry Potter star is that he had a drink-problem. These days, he’s tee-total. The odd thing about that is, is that he’s no more or less interesting than he was when he was hitting the sauce with an impressive regularity.

Emma Watson Learns To Talk Like A Stupid American

June 13th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Howdy pardners! Emma ‘YeeHaw’ Watson is in the good ol’ U S of A to work on her American doodle dandy accent for a role in ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’, which is one of those varmint adaptation of the hella controversial book doobry? about teenage life and sexuality.

Whyayeoudda!

As you critters can see, we Limeys are rootin’ and tootin’ when it comes to doing the American accent! We can all do the New Yoik accent too. We even have the punchline, but not the joke, for a New Yoik accent joke about dolphins. The punchline is ‘they were suffering from crossed porpoises’. And so, like, Emma Watson will like, toootally be great at doing, like, an American accent, like. She ain’t so sure.

Cheryl Cole Challenges Emma Watson To A Scrap

May 3rd, 2011 By Michael Park

In a shocking revelation this week, pop entity Cheryl Cole laid down the gauntlet to that lassie from Harry Potter that it’s now all right to fancy, Emma Watson. Harry Potter girl has been accused by former Girls Aloud star and alleged racist Cheryl of stealing her Style Crown, given to her by Glamour Magazine for being the world’s best dressed woman

The Harry Potter star has topped?Glamour’s 9th Annual Best Dressed Woman List, beating renowned malaria sufferer Cole and?Twilight actress Kristen… Kristen… uhh… yeah, that lassie out of Twilight?to the top spot.

The other female X Factor judge?Dannii Minogue also makes the most pointless top 10 list since a hecklerspray advertorial?along with Rihanna and some bimbo from Glee.