Articles tagged with: Daniel Radcliffe
Robert Pattinson Is Sexier Than Daniel Radcliffe. Rupert Grint Still Unbearably Ugly
Hey, don't just take our word for it. Go ask the hedge-haired boy wizard himself. He's the one that said it, not us. In other news, it has been reported that 85% of people would rather drink a gallon of sour milk than a cup of tramp's widdle. Who do you think of when someone says the words "sex symbol"? Well, if you're a normal lady with a healthy libido, the answer is probably Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Stuart Heritage.
Hey, don't just take our word for it. Go ask the hedge-haired boy wizard himself. He's the one that said it, not us. In other news, it has been reported that 85% of people would rather drink a gallon of sour milk than a cup of tramp's widdle. Who do you think of when someone says the words "sex symbol"? Well, if you're a normal lady with a healthy libido, the answer is probably Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Stuart Heritage.
Quantum of Solace Pushed Back a Week, and It’s All Harry Potter’s Fault
Harry Potter has a lot to answer for - now he's magically caused Quantum of Solace to be pushed back. Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company's decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick - the one with the funny name - back. Alright, so it's only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still - come on. Give us a break here. The reason for the move was given as a simple one: 'we want more money'. Technically not what they actually said, but 'moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market' is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.
Harry Potter has a lot to answer for - now he's magically caused Quantum of Solace to be pushed back. Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company's decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick - the one with the funny name - back. Alright, so it's only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still - come on. Give us a break here. The reason for the move was given as a simple one: 'we want more money'. Technically not what they actually said, but 'moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market' is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.
Daniel Radcliffe’s Penis Pushed Harry Potter Back Eight Months
Daniel Radcliffe may well be the face of Harry Potter, but he's already made great headway towards getting away from being pigeonholed. The way he went about this was to go on stage and get his penis out. It's a classic technique, and one we've surely all practiced at some point in our lives. If we have the necessary equipment, of course. But what happens when you're pottering about (PUN!) getting your bits out on stage around the same time that the new chapter in a kids film, in which you star, is coming out? Well, kids, Harry Potter 6 gets pushed back eight months, if the wild, rampant and ker-azy speculation is to be believed. Yes kids - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince isn't coming out because of Daniel Radcliffe's penis. That is one of the greatest sentences we've ever had to write, even if it isn't actually definitely true.
Daniel Radcliffe may well be the face of Harry Potter, but he's already made great headway towards getting away from being pigeonholed. The way he went about this was to go on stage and get his penis out. It's a classic technique, and one we've surely all practiced at some point in our lives. If we have the necessary equipment, of course. But what happens when you're pottering about (PUN!) getting your bits out on stage around the same time that the new chapter in a kids film, in which you star, is coming out? Well, kids, Harry Potter 6 gets pushed back eight months, if the wild, rampant and ker-azy speculation is to be believed. Yes kids - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince isn't coming out because of Daniel Radcliffe's penis. That is one of the greatest sentences we've ever had to write, even if it isn't actually definitely true.
Harry Potter and the Legions of Disappointed Idiots
If you're an adult that lists the Harry Potter series of books as one of your favourites then you likely need to be shot. In the face. If you're an adult that lists the Harry Potter series of films as one of your favourites then you need to be fired. From a cannon. Into the sun. Twice. Needless to say, the idiots that do like this garbage - that's 'kids' and the aforementioned persons that need to be killed in excessive fashions - will be upset to learn that the newest film, Harry Potter and the Simple Premise Drawn Out For Far Too Long, Thus Making Billions of Dollars, has been pushed back by eight months. Why? Technical problems? Realising it's crap? No - to make sure it comes out in the summer when Warner Bros don't have much else to bring out. In other words: to make more money. What a lovely, cynical, money-grabbing world we do live in. It makes us feel all gooey inside.
If you're an adult that lists the Harry Potter series of books as one of your favourites then you likely need to be shot. In the face. If you're an adult that lists the Harry Potter series of films as one of your favourites then you need to be fired. From a cannon. Into the sun. Twice. Needless to say, the idiots that do like this garbage - that's 'kids' and the aforementioned persons that need to be killed in excessive fashions - will be upset to learn that the newest film, Harry Potter and the Simple Premise Drawn Out For Far Too Long, Thus Making Billions of Dollars, has been pushed back by eight months. Why? Technical problems? Realising it's crap? No - to make sure it comes out in the summer when Warner Bros don't have much else to bring out. In other words: to make more money. What a lovely, cynical, money-grabbing world we do live in. It makes us feel all gooey inside.
Harry Potter To Unleash His Naked Penis Across America
Americans know how they like their child-stars - naked and terrified of the malevolent horse-gods they're also sexually aroused by. So today should be like Christmas for them, because Daniel Radcliffe - who, as Harry Potter, is basically King Child Star - has announced that he's taking his production of Equus to America, where it will play in Broadway from September. Equus. You know. Equus. The play that explores the ethical ambiguity of free will versus the enforced conventions of societal normality as laid out by the Bible and psychiatric practices. The play that, through the unique on-stage seating plan, forces the audience to confront notions of voyeurism and artifice for themselves. Oh, alright - the play where Harry Potter gets his penis out, waggles it around and then stabs a bunch of horses in the eye. Happy now?
Americans know how they like their child-stars - naked and terrified of the malevolent horse-gods they're also sexually aroused by. So today should be like Christmas for them, because Daniel Radcliffe - who, as Harry Potter, is basically King Child Star - has announced that he's taking his production of Equus to America, where it will play in Broadway from September. Equus. You know. Equus. The play that explores the ethical ambiguity of free will versus the enforced conventions of societal normality as laid out by the Bible and psychiatric practices. The play that, through the unique on-stage seating plan, forces the audience to confront notions of voyeurism and artifice for themselves. Oh, alright - the play where Harry Potter gets his penis out, waggles it around and then stabs a bunch of horses in the eye. Happy now?
Lily Allen’s Brother Goes Naked Horse Stabbing
After Harry Potter's penis won rave reviews for its horse-stabbing role in the stage-production of Equus this spring, people assumed that whoever would follow it would either be a) a respected big-name actor or b) Lily Allen's little brother.
And what do you know, it looks very much like the latter. Daniel Radcliffe's Equus replacement has been named as Alfie Allen - brother of Lily Allen, son of Keith Allen and subject of a pop song about what a lazy pot-smoking waster Alfie Allen is. Although Alfie Allen has had a few small acting roles in the past, Equus will mark the first time he's ever got his knob out and blinded a horse with a spike at the behest of a disturbing horse-god onstage. Not that he'll be doing that any more, of course - to suit Alfie's slightly chavvy tendencies, the storyline of Equus has now been altered so that now Alfie will just need to get naked and happyslap a horse outside JD Sports, then run home and upload it to YouTube.
