Articles tagged with: Dancing With The Stars
Say what you like about Dancing With The Stars, but you can't deny that it loves its physically-impaired contestants. In recent years, Dancing With The Stars contestants have included one-legged Heather Mills, constantly-fainting Marie Osmond and Mel B - a woman so harrowingly northern that there'll soon be a all-star charity concert held to stop her eating tripe and breeding greyhounds. And this year's Dancing With The Stars is no different - contestants include 82-year-old Cloris Leachman, recent heart-scare patient Toni Braxton and Kim Kardashian, who suffers from a rare arse disorder called Booty Tumours. Or she doesn't. Let's not pretend that we care about any of this, shall we.
The age-old debate over whether Britain or America is better has just ended, and it's a conclusive victory for the USA.
Why? Because who did we have on our celebrity dancing reality TV show? A woman from a band nobody really remembers and a snooker player that looks like a posh walrus, that's who. But America? America has Steve Guttenberg.
It's been announced that Steve Guttenberg off Short Circuit and Police Academy will be one of the celebrities taking part in the new series of Dancing With The Stars. Other contestants include Elvis Presley's wife and that tennis player that got stabbed, but forget those losers. Steve Guttenberg's going to be on Dancing With The Stars! Nnng!
Helio Castroneves, yesterday’s spangly winner on TV’s Dancing With The Stars, is today’s unlucky loser in love, following the news that he has been poleaxed by erstwhile fiancée Aliette Vazquez.
The engagement was called off within a day of Castroneves’ dancefest glory. He was dumped after six years by Vazquez, who kept schtum so as not to affect the outcome of the reality show. They were engaged for about a year.
Poor old Mel B. She's always the bridesmaid, never the bride, and that has to sting - especially when the bride is a South American bloke who drives cars for a living.
Actually that's not strictly true - with her relationship history, Mel B has been the bride quite a lot actually - but as far as Dancing With The Stars goes, Mel B is definitely the bridesmaid. Last night saw the final of this year's Dancing With The Stars, and long-time favourite Mel B was just pipped to the post by Brazilian racing driver Helio Castroneves. And if Helio Castroneves is the bride of Dancing With The Stars and Mel B is the bridesmaid, that makes third-place Marie Osmond a Dancing With The Stars usher or something. Or a flower girl. Or the woman who plays the church organ in an amusingly bad way. Look, we don't know, OK?
