Articles tagged with: Dancing With The Stars
Paula Abdul: The Crashingly Inescapable American Idol Comeback
Paula Abdul's bad decisions have included singing with a cartoon cat, marrying Emilio Estevez and speaking in public. But quitting American Idol? That was her worst decision of all. And we don't say that lightly - this is a woman who deliberately got married to Emilio Estevez, for crying out loud. Anyway, it seems that the flurry of interest that swamped Paula Abdul's departure from American Idol has now crawled to a trickle, And Paula now reportedly wants her old job back. Phew, it's good that Simon Cowell is so famously compassionate, isn't it? This could have got pretty awkward otherwise.
Paula Abdul's bad decisions have included singing with a cartoon cat, marrying Emilio Estevez and speaking in public. But quitting American Idol? That was her worst decision of all. And we don't say that lightly - this is a woman who deliberately got married to Emilio Estevez, for crying out loud. Anyway, it seems that the flurry of interest that swamped Paula Abdul's departure from American Idol has now crawled to a trickle, And Paula now reportedly wants her old job back. Phew, it's good that Simon Cowell is so famously compassionate, isn't it? This could have got pretty awkward otherwise.
Kelly Osbourne On ‘Dancing With The Stars More Famous Than Her’
Dancing With The Stars is easily the best show on television. No, wait, not best - we meant least accurately titled. It's true. None of the words correlate. For one, the Dancing With The Stars contestants aren't actually stars, let alone the definitive star collection that the titular use of the word 'The' suggests. Second, their graceless plodding technically isn't dancing. Third, we're not dancing with anyone - we're just watching. Really it should be called Looking At Some People You Vaguely Recognise Clump Around A Bit. Anyway, Dancing With The Stars is back. Who's in it? Find out after the jump.
Dancing With The Stars is easily the best show on television. No, wait, not best - we meant least accurately titled. It's true. None of the words correlate. For one, the Dancing With The Stars contestants aren't actually stars, let alone the definitive star collection that the titular use of the word 'The' suggests. Second, their graceless plodding technically isn't dancing. Third, we're not dancing with anyone - we're just watching. Really it should be called Looking At Some People You Vaguely Recognise Clump Around A Bit. Anyway, Dancing With The Stars is back. Who's in it? Find out after the jump.
Everyone Wants Paula Abdul To Babble & Slur For Them
Paula Abdul has always been a free agent - you can't constrain her with things like rules or basic human logic. But now she really is free. She's free of the American Idol machine, with its cynical attitude to creativity and willingness to give her millions of dollars for doing hardly anything. Apparently Paula Abdul could now be snapped up by So You Think You Can Dance, although she's probably holding out for So You Think You Can Stare Off Into Space For Great Stretches Of Time While Softly Giggling At A Joke That Only You Can Hear. She's got expertise there.
Paula Abdul has always been a free agent - you can't constrain her with things like rules or basic human logic. But now she really is free. She's free of the American Idol machine, with its cynical attitude to creativity and willingness to give her millions of dollars for doing hardly anything. Apparently Paula Abdul could now be snapped up by So You Think You Can Dance, although she's probably holding out for So You Think You Can Stare Off Into Space For Great Stretches Of Time While Softly Giggling At A Joke That Only You Can Hear. She's got expertise there.
Shawn Johnson Keeping It Zipped About Her Boggle-Eyed Stalker
If we hate one thing about alleged mental stalkers with cars full of guns, it's how they screw up your Paso Doble. Just ask Shawn Johnson. Last week her alleged stalker was arrested in the Dancing With The Stars studio with loaded guns, a roll of duct tape and wads of unsent love letters in his car, and now it's threatening to overshadow her performances on the show. So that's why Shawn Johnson has decided to not discuss the incident in any way, shape or form, as she discussed during a really long interview about the stalker on Access Hollywood.
If we hate one thing about alleged mental stalkers with cars full of guns, it's how they screw up your Paso Doble. Just ask Shawn Johnson. Last week her alleged stalker was arrested in the Dancing With The Stars studio with loaded guns, a roll of duct tape and wads of unsent love letters in his car, and now it's threatening to overshadow her performances on the show. So that's why Shawn Johnson has decided to not discuss the incident in any way, shape or form, as she discussed during a really long interview about the stalker on Access Hollywood.
Man Arrested For Liking Dancing With The Stars, Basically
How much should any man enjoy watching Dancing With The Stars? Enough to remember that it even exists? Yes, that's exactly how much. If you know more than three of the Dancing With The Stars contestants by name you're on iffy ground. And woe betide anyone who actually votes on the Dancing With Stars results. But is unexpectedly turning up at the Dancing With The Stars studio with two loaded guns, a roll of duct tape and a handful of love letters to Shawn Johnson liking the show too much? Apparently so, because a bloke's just been arrested for that.
How much should any man enjoy watching Dancing With The Stars? Enough to remember that it even exists? Yes, that's exactly how much. If you know more than three of the Dancing With The Stars contestants by name you're on iffy ground. And woe betide anyone who actually votes on the Dancing With Stars results. But is unexpectedly turning up at the Dancing With The Stars studio with two loaded guns, a roll of duct tape and a handful of love letters to Shawn Johnson liking the show too much? Apparently so, because a bloke's just been arrested for that.
Dancing With The Stars: Steve-O Hurts His Little Backy-Wacky
Steve-O is a man who, for a fairly large chunk of his career, made a living by stapling his balls to his thigh. Steve-O is fearless. He sets his hair on fire. He lets people throw darts at him. He shoots fireworks out of his bottom with such confusing regularity that people often mistake him for Sydney Harbour Bridge. But even Steve-O's boundless physical endurance has its limits, which is why he ducked out of last night's Dancing With The Stars because he hurt his back. Next week: Johnny Knoxville quits Hell's Kitchen because an onion looks at him funny.
Steve-O is a man who, for a fairly large chunk of his career, made a living by stapling his balls to his thigh. Steve-O is fearless. He sets his hair on fire. He lets people throw darts at him. He shoots fireworks out of his bottom with such confusing regularity that people often mistake him for Sydney Harbour Bridge. But even Steve-O's boundless physical endurance has its limits, which is why he ducked out of last night's Dancing With The Stars because he hurt his back. Next week: Johnny Knoxville quits Hell's Kitchen because an onion looks at him funny.
Dancing With The Stars, Now Starring Less Dancing Stars
If you were looking forward to the new season of Dancing With The Stars because of Jewel, we have bad news. You're a disgrace to humanity. Really, Jewel? You like Jewel? What do you like about her, her rubbish poetry or the fact that she's named after a shiny pebble? Honestly, people like you make us sick. Why don't you grow up, yeah? Grow up and stop liking rubbish singers with stupid one-word names, yeah? You moron. Oh, and also Jewel has pulled out of Dancing With The Stars because of injury. That was probably our original point, in retrospect.
If you were looking forward to the new season of Dancing With The Stars because of Jewel, we have bad news. You're a disgrace to humanity. Really, Jewel? You like Jewel? What do you like about her, her rubbish poetry or the fact that she's named after a shiny pebble? Honestly, people like you make us sick. Why don't you grow up, yeah? Grow up and stop liking rubbish singers with stupid one-word names, yeah? You moron. Oh, and also Jewel has pulled out of Dancing With The Stars because of injury. That was probably our original point, in retrospect.
Get Ready For The Breakdowniest Dancing With The Stars Ever!
As good as Dancing With The Stars is, we've often felt that it hasn't teetered on the brink of emotional breakdown enough. But lucky old us. The Dancing With The Stars producers have listened to our unspoken wishes and signed such a bewilderingly diverse array of celebrities for its new season that we're honestly convinced that Len Goodman will end the final with a broken nose, several deep gashes to his face and a kitchen knife poking out the back of his skull. How scary is the new Dancing With The Stars? Steve-O scary. Lil' Kim scary. Jewel scary. Scary.
As good as Dancing With The Stars is, we've often felt that it hasn't teetered on the brink of emotional breakdown enough. But lucky old us. The Dancing With The Stars producers have listened to our unspoken wishes and signed such a bewilderingly diverse array of celebrities for its new season that we're honestly convinced that Len Goodman will end the final with a broken nose, several deep gashes to his face and a kitchen knife poking out the back of his skull. How scary is the new Dancing With The Stars? Steve-O scary. Lil' Kim scary. Jewel scary. Scary.
