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Dancing On Ice

Dancing On Ice: Will Michael Underwood Sob To Victory?

by Stuart Heritage

It’s day three of our epic, nearly three-month look at this year’s Dancing On Ice, and we’re already bored with it. Anyone want to swap jobs?

No, we’ll make it. We’ll be fine. We just need to wait for the patented Dancing On Ice theme nights to kick in and we’ll be OK. We’re excited to see which themes Dancing On Ice picks – personally we’ve got our fingers crossed for a Prog Rock Night and an Everybody Skates While Crippled With Polio Night. Exciting!

Anyway, on with the Dancing On Ice rundown – today, Michael Underwood, Roxanne Pallett and Ellery Hanley…

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Dancing On Ice: Can Todd Carty Win, Please?

by Stuart Heritage

Do you like Dancing On Ice? You’d better, because it’s pretty much all we’re going to write about for the next three months.

New to Dancing On Ice? Then let us explain it – it’s just like Strictly Come Dancing, except it’s on ice. And there are about 10,000 judges, who all seem to want to be the mean one. And it goes on for two hours. And in those two hours you’ll visibly age by at least four decades. We love Dancing On Ice.

But who’s going to win? Here’s our Dancing On Ice look at Todd Carty and Colleen Nolan…

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Jeremy Edwards Skids Off Dancing On Ice

by Stuart Heritage

Hooray for Dancing On Ice, the show we’ve decided to follow three weeks in out of a mixture of boredom and self-loathing.

If you missed yesterday’s epic, endless, two-hour Dancing On Ice, you missed Jeremy Edwards getting voted off. Jeremy got the boot either because he was rubbish at skating or because of the temper tantrum he threw when he realised that the judges didn’t share his love of himself. We have neither the time nor the inclination to find out.

But enough about Jeremy Edwards, here’s our Dancing On Ice rundown on Donal MacIntyre and Melinda Messenger…

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Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: The Final – Chris Fountain

by Stuart Heritage

It’s our last Dancing On Ice betting odds of the year, but don’t be sad – there’ll be another hopeless reality TV show that we secretly resent covering along soon. Big Brother probably.

After Sunday, the ice rink will be rolled up, the skates melted for ammunition and Holly Willoughby’s tits will be unscrewed and dry-frozen until next year. But you still have a chance to place a bet on the Dancing On Ice final. It’s easy to do, and it might be the most important move you ever make that’s based on a Sunday teatime ice-skating programme.

Who’ll win Sunday’s Dancing On Ice final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Chris Fountain, with help from Paddy Power…

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Fearne Cotton Loves Holly Willoughby’s Boob-A-Roonies

by Chris Laverty

Let’s talk about boobs, baby. Let’s drag up a story from 25th February and blame Fearne Cotton. Let’s use the words Holly Willoughby, cleavage and nipples in the intro because it will get us more hits.

Back in 2004, Holly Willoughby was working as a children’s TV presenter. During a live broadcast for morning noise-fest Ministry Of Mayhem her breasts wobbled out of her top for all the kids to see and applaud. Fast forward four years and she very nearly repeats the incident on ITV1′s flagship reality show Dancing on Ice – only this time with added middle-aged men wanking into a frenzy.

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Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: The Final – Zaraah & Suzanne

by Stuart Heritage

Welcome to the start of the last two days of our Dancing On Ice betting odds for 2008.

That’s right, the Dancing On Ice final takes place on Sunday – and if you haven’t placed a bet on the outcome, time is running out for you to do so. It couldn’t be easier; a couple of clicks and you’re away. And you deserve to win some money from Dancing On Ice, you know. Consider it compensation for watching the entire blinking series.

Who’s going to win Sunday’s Dancing On Ice final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams and Suzanne Shaw, with help from Paddy Power…

More…

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Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: Chris Fountain?

by Stuart Heritage

We’re slowly coming to terms with the fact that Dancing On Ice will be over after Sunday’s big final.

And with that realisation comes a dreadful sadness. Where will we get our celebrity ice skating kicks from without Dancing On Ice? Will we have to kidnap Greg Rusedski and force him to skate around for our amusement? Beg Holly Willoughby to show off as much of her tit as is legally acceptable on a Sunday teatime again? Pay to go and see the Dancing On Ice live tour? No, not that last one. We’re not mental.

Who’ll win Dancing On Ice on Sunday? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Chris Fountain, with betting odds from Paddy Power…

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Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: Suzanne Shaw?

by Stuart Heritage

The Dancing On Ice semi-final needed a required element that was suitably spectacular, but how can you top tiny jumps and dicking around with a hat?

Simple – a 20-second solo spot. For the first section of the Dancing On Ice routines, the remaining contestants had to make their way around the ice completely alone. And in all honesty it was a bit of a disappointment – nobody fell over, nobody smashed their mouth open, nothing. If only the Dancing On Ice producers had thought to do the solo thing while Greg Rusedski was still on the show. A shame.

But who’ll win the Dancing On Ice final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw, with help from Paddy Power…

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Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: Gareth Gates Goes Home

by Stuart Heritage

Next week is the Dancing On Ice final, but it’ll be a final without a young man dressed like a fat girl at a provincial nightclub – Gareth Gates is out.

For the first time since Dancing On Ice began, Gareth’s army of crazy fans weren’t able to keep him out of the dance-off last night, and the judges didn’t waste any time in eliminating him unanimously. But then that’s exactly what his routine to Livin’ On A Prayer demanded. Having misunderstood the required element 20-second solo-spot to be an opportunity to stand around doing air guitar like a bad-haired shithead, Gareth then went on to waste several precious seconds of his routine by clapping. And if that’s an ice-dance move, then that would make Busta Rhymes the new Dick Button.

But now that Gareth Gates is out of Dancing On Ice, who’ll win the final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Next week is the Dancing On Ice final, but it'll be a final without a young man dressed like a fat girl at a provincial nightclub - Gareth Gates is out. For the first time since Dancing On Ice began, Gareth's army of crazy fans weren't able to keep him out of the dance-off last night, and the judges didn't waste any time in eliminating him unanimously. But then that's exactly what his routine to Livin' On A Prayer demanded. Having misunderstood the required element 20-second solo-spot to be an opportunity to stand around doing air guitar like a bad-haired shithead, Gareth then went on to waste several precious seconds of his routine by clapping. And if that's an ice-dance move, then that would make Busta Rhymes the new Dick Button. But now that Gareth Gates is out of Dancing On Ice, who'll win the final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power...
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Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: Zaraah Out On Sunday?

by Stuart Heritage

As exciting as the Dancing On Ice semi-final undoubtedly is, it’s also a time for sadness and reflection.

One Dancing On Ice contestant will be eliminated from the show at the last hurdle, never to quite make it to the grand final. Sure, they’ll have come fourth in Dancing On Ice, but don’t forget that it’s a competition where Greg Rusedski came fifth. Greg Rusedski! He was rubbish! But who will be eliminated from Dancing On Ice on Sunday?

Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Sunday’s elimination – for Chris Fountain, Suzanne Shaw, Gareth Gates and Zaraah Abrahams – with help from Paddy Power…

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