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The 5 Most Awful Movie Adapations of Incredibly Bad Books

September 6th, 2013 By Roberta

Bad books make our heads implode and bad movies based on those same books make us want to stab ourselves in the eye. Repeatedly.

We know Hollywood butchers good books. World War Z anyone? A fantastic book that got turned into PG drivel (sorry, just thinking about it makes our eye twitch uncomfortably). But what about atrociously bad books that get turned into equally bad movies?

Believe it or not, that also happens in Hollywood. Even more shocking – some of these bad movies become blockbusters. Without further ado – top 5 atrociously bad books into bad movies adaptations. Please feel free to add your “favorites” in the comments below.

Badvertising: Two Rubbish Adverts For The Price Of One

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

There is a definite trend of companies recycling their expensive adverts of yesteryear in order to save themselves a bit of cash. To be honest, there isn’t a lot we can say as a criticism of that. Times are tough and if your product hasn’t changed very much then why bother going to the effort of making a whole new advert to?extoll?the exact same virtues.

While there’s nothing wrong with it on the face of it, some ads remind us that they were completely awful in the first place and, like last week, we’re looking into the murky, sugar-loaded world of soft drinks.

Dan Brown’s New Book To Pester You On The Internet All Summer

July 8th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

When Dan Brown writes a new book, he doesn’t need to advertise it – the book can advertise itself.

You’ve seen the millions of commuters all holding Dan Brown’s books up to their nose every morning. And you’ve seen packs of sweaty, clueless-looking Americans stumbling around Paris and Rome squawking “Ooh, The Da Vinci Code! Ooh, Angels & Demons!” in the belief that The Louvre was only built so that Tom Hanks could run around it in a funny wig.

But still, Dan Brown’s new book The Lost Symbol comes out soon, and this time he is advertising it. On FACEBOOK!

Angels & Demons Pope-O-Splodes The Weekend Box Office

May 17th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Honestly Ron Howard, talk about phoning it in. Yes, we all know how successful The Da Vinci Code was, but put some effort in.

Because its sequel Angels & Demons might be the top movie at the weekend box office this week, but have you ever considered what made The Da Vinci Code so popular in the first place? That's right – Tom Hanks? tatty old mullet.

But look at his Angels & Demons haircut, for crying out loud. It's almost normal. Honestly, there had better be a deleted DVD scene where Tom Hanks gives himself a bubble perm, or there?ll be riots.

Roman Diocese Tells ‘Angels And Demons’ To Go To H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

The problem with filming the devil’s movies is that if any of the scenes require the architecture of a church, the owners of said church, along with their serious-minded boards of directors, must pass off on it.

This is where Angels and Demons has recently run into trouble. There is a scene in the book where Tom Hanks & a hot German woman named Elsa (who’d only recently slept with his father) break through a church floor, follow some flowing gasoline through a gathered crowd of rats to an old dead knight with a clue on his shield.

Now they can’t film any of this on location – the Rome Diocese has banned it.

The location slack will reportedly be picked up by two Kingdom Halls and a Mormon stake center. This of course means not a single gargoyle will be shot on camera. It’s bad because they need a gargoyle that comes to life just in time to save Tom Hanks from the exploding jelly truck. It’s really a pinnacle scene.

Thanks a lot, Diocese.