As everyone knows, Jessica Simpson is currently infatuated with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo – which would be great except for the fact that Jessica has made Tony rubbish at everything.

On Sunday the Dallas Cowboys lost an important match against the Philadelphia Knicker-Kickers (or something), with Tony Romo having a particularly bad day. Now, Dallas American Football fans being what they are have studied everything from training to meteorological conditions to Philadelphia's advanced level of man-marking in an effort to try and work out what was to blame for Tony Romo's spectacular drop in form – and they've decided that it's Jessica Simpson's fault. It's all Jessica Simpson's fault. Everything is Jessica Simpson's fault and she smells and walks like a man. Basically.

Yoko Ono must be thrilled at the way 2007 has gone for her. First Heather Mills makes a fool out of herself on TV and becomes the world's most hated Beatle wife and – now that Jessica Simpson has obliterated her new boyfriend's talent – angry misogynists have turned their attention away from her instead. That just leaves Yoko Ono with racists and those who didn't like Don't Worry Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking For Her Hand In The Snow), which is pretty much everyone now we think of it.

But anyway, back to Jessica Simpson. After Jessica's dad set her up with Tony Roma recently, you would have expected the couple to live their life in a whirlwind of romantic snuggling, hand-holding, nuzzling and the unspoken fear that any babies they have together will inherit Jessica's jaw. But that hasn't been the case at all, because Jessica Simpson has been too busy being public enemy number one for any of that.

Although we know nothing about American Football, we're told that Tony Romo has had an exceptional season so far, scoring lots of kicktouches and setting up an unbroken string of surgewhipples, the likes of which the modern game has never seen before. But on Sunday Jessica Simpson went to see Tony Romo play in a game against the Philadelphia Crumplebums (or whatever) and Tony Romo played the worst game of his life, fluffing the snapcatcher and wasting the opportunity to force gamebreaker penalty stabs again and again.

Naturally, this has caused the Dallas Cowboy fans to blame everything on Jessica Simpson and the way she kept making moon-eyes at Tony when he should have been concentrating. Bloggers, writers and TV reporters have all openly speculated that Jessica Simpson's appearance in the stands and Tony Romo's performance slip might not be unrelated, but Tim Cowlishaw from the Dallas Morning News isn't so certain, saying that the blip:

"probably had more to do with the right thumb that was heavily bandaged after the game than it did that Jessica Simpson was on hand to watch her hero."

Still, whatever the reason for Tony Romo's bad game, he'd better watch his back because this is how it starts. Jessica Simpson's boyfriends always start off famous and successful, but over time they get worn into a braindead husk by Jessica's unique mix of dead-eyed ambition and relentless ditziness. Watch this space – as soon as Tony releases an album all about how sad he is, we'll know that the damage has been done and it's too late for him.

Read more: 

Jessica Gets Ribbed Over Tony Romo's Bad Day – People