Dallas - HecklerSpray

Larry Hagman Has Passed, but J.R. Ewing Will Live Forever

November 27th, 2012 By Chris Chambers

Actor Larry Hagman passed away over the weekend from complications from throat cancer. This is strangely sad news, considering that his iconic character, J.R. Ewing from Dallas, was such an insufferable dickhead.

Larry was 81 years old … not a bad age to kick it … and apparently died peacefully surrounded by friends and family, as should we all. Among the friends at his deathbed were two other Dallas stars:?Linda Gray, who played J.R.?s slutty alcoholic wife Sue Ellen, and Patrick Duffy, who played J.R.?s whiny brother Bobbie.?The fact that those three were?real-life friends is very heart-warming, for some reason.?I bet when Shannen Doherty dies, Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling and the others will all be there for her, holding hands and letting bygones be bygones.

Rihanna Tries To Kill Everyone In Dallas As Stage Sets On Fire

July 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Is everyone in Dallas a massive racist? They like the confederate flag over there, so they must be! Did they have lynchings as well? We’ve no idea. We don’t really like America. It’s a silly country with large portions and impossible dental work.

We’re talking about the foibles of Dallas because we’re trying to work out why Rihanna would want to kill everyone there.

See, while she was playing a show in Texas, she set the stage on fire, leaving stupid hacks to ponder if Rihanna’s appearance and performance was so ‘hot’, that it actually combusted. However, it is clear that this was attempted mass-murder and it is only a matter of time before America’s famous police force, with their non-bias toward any race, get involved.

Dallas Gets A Reboot Yet Still Leans On The Old Cast In Case Everyone Hates It

February 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

UK readers may never forget the mixture of contempt and confusion that spread itself across Larry Hagman’s pink, withered face as he sat in the middle of the mayhem that is Shooting Stars with Reeves and Mortimer.

US readers, of course, will just think of his as charming old bastard, JR Ewing.

Well, Hagman is back to reprise his role in the new Dallas reboot which is dragging loads of the old cast out of retirement to help raise the profile of the show and, of course, stop the tide of sneering naysayers (like us) who think it’ll probably be rubbish.

Erykah Badhu Fined For Getting All Naked In Public

August 19th, 2010 By Matthew Laidlow

Bloody hell, just when women were allowed off their leash and freed from their iron shackles, it seems that someone doesn't want female kind to embrace individuality and tell men to sod off. Millions of bras went to waste as scores of ladies burnt them in order to campaign for rights including the vote, chance to work and to stay up past 10pm.

Now, men and woman are almost equal, but what would happen if you decided to gradually take your clothes off and lie naked on the floor? Erykah Badhu decided to do just this last March in Dallas where she recreated the moment when President John F Kennedy was shot dead in 1963. Perhaps we didn't get explicit history lessons as we can't remember John F Kennedy waving his wang around before he got shot. Maybe someone took offence at him doing that, the daft sod.