If you’re a 14-year-old girl with an unhealthy crush on Robert Pattinson, we have two pieces of news for you.

One: don’t worry, you’ll grow out of it soon. Two: you should probably start practising how to make your eyes all big and haunted, because mimicking Dakota Fanning has just become your best shot at sneaking onto the New Moon set to launch yourself at Robert Pattinson and tear at his face and scream and cry.

That’s because Dakota Fanning has become a New Moon castmember, ending months of… no, not speculation. What’s the word? Teenage incontinence? Yes, that’s it.

You’ll have to excuse us if we get a little bit confused here – we’d just got used to calling Twilight‘s sequel Twilight 2, and then we discovered that it was called New Moon, and then that got changed to The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and we heard that in a couple of weeks it’ll be changed again to The Exciting Twilight Adventures Of The Twilight Gang In Twilight 2: New Moon – Part Of The Twilight Saga. So if we mess it up, please don’t shriek a bunch of illiterate all-caps abuse in the comment section. Even though we all know you will anyway.

But back to the point. Dakota Fanning has just proved her acting superiority over the likes of Vanessa Hudgens and The Jonas Brothers by acing the New Moon auditions and landing the part of Jane, a vampire who presumably looks a bit spooked and who causes everyone she meets to get so creeped out that they have to run away from her while brushing imaginary insects off their skin after about 15-20 seconds in her company.

Anyway, People reports:

The 15-year-old actress is set to star in New Moon as Jane – a sinister vampire with an angelic exterior who works for the Volturi, a rep for Summit Entertainment confirms to PEOPLE. “We did just get a script. We’re shooting the rest of the films back to back,” says Nikki Reed, who plays Rosalie Hale in the film. “(Director) Chris Weitz is amazing and I think it’s going to be wonderful.”

This news shouldn’t come as a surprise – Dakota Fanning has been linked to the New Moon role for months, but it’s only just been made official. And it’s an important movie for her, too – get this right and Dakota Fanning will get to throw away a promising film career in favour of being stereotyped in a series of cheaply-made piss-awful fantasy flicks about how brilliant virgins are.

But what’ll be interesting to see is how Dakota Fanning will be embraced by the Twilight fan-army. By and large they all love Robert Pattinson and hate Kristen Stewart because she might have slept with Robert Pattinson. So it makes sense that, if Dakota Fanning wants to be accepted by the Twilight fans, she needs to become as much like Robert Pattinson as possible.

So with that in mind, anyone with experience in concussing teenagers in a way that makes their hair look terrible should probably get in touch with Dakota Fanning’s agent as soon as possible.

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