Daily Mail - HecklerSpray

It’s Not Rihanna’s Job To Raise Your Stupid Kids

June 25th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Sure, she has a weakness for strippers and ganja. Sure, she seems to be fond of guns and showing areola. Rihanna isn’t the greatest role model in the world for kids, but people seem to be forgetting one thing – she doesn’t have to be.

Liz Jones has published an article on the Daily Mail – which should tell you all you need to know – calling Rihanna a ‘toxic role model’ and generally getting her knickers in a twist over the fact that teenage girls will think it’s cool to make out with other girls and wear hair extensions.

Lady Gaga Promotes Weed to Millions of Teens

September 21st, 2012 By Chris Starr

You know the phrase “When in Rome”? It works in other places too. When in London, eat fish and chips and harass a beefeater! When in Paris, shrug your shoulders and quaff wine! When in Amsterdam, smoke a shitton of weed!

Lady Gaga certainly adheres to that rule, judging by the way she stopped her concert in Amsterdam on Wednesday to light up a spliff helpfully handed to her from the crowd.

Lindsay Lohan Has Clawed Her Way Out Of Pet Semetary

February 10th, 2012 By Lady Robotnik

Lindsay Lohan stepped out on the red carpet this week looking as young, sexy and stylish as ever. Wait, we mean the exact opposite of that.

The o/b/v/i/o/u/s/c/r/a/c/k/a/d/d/i/c/t starlet was papped at the amfAR New York Gala yesterday sporting tobacco-stained hair, meth teeth and accessorised her hot new look with a Grinch-skin coat and a vacant stare.

Want a look? You brave crusader, you. Just click the jump.

Pippa Middleton’s Bum Not Safe From Paparazzi Scum

January 12th, 2012 By Kris Silver

It must be hard being Pippa Middleton; trying to be a serious business woman and gallivanting around London, made all the more difficult because everyone knows you for being the one with the arse that stole your sister?s wedding day.

Poor, poor Pippa.

But a tabloid picture editor has come forward and announced that newspapers would be offered around 300 or 400 pictures PER DAY of the fitter Middleton, none of which are of her arse.

Harry Styles Is (Probably) Naked On The Internet But Denies It

August 17th, 2012 By Lady Robotnik

The most virile 17-year-old on the planet, One Direction’s Harry Styles has joined the long list of celebrities who have had naked photos of themselves ?leaked? to the press.

The alleged picture show a curly-haired youngster posing with his member hanging out the front of his pants in front of a mirror, his face obscured by a camera flash.

The shadowy figure appears to be wearing Harry?s trademark silver dog tags, and is devoid of body-hair; his body seemingly needing the keratin to add even more volume to his white-boy afro. Why not take a look after the jump?

Chinese Pirates To Bring Steve Jobs Back From The Dead

January 4th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Guess what tech fans! Those Chinese tinkerers have made another copy of an Apple trademark that's bound to cause a stir, if not entirely offend fanboys and turtle neck wearers everywhere.

Having already found success with the SciPhone and a full sized replica Apple store, those crown princes of piracy, the Chinese, have now created THE ULTIMATE ACTION FIGURE, in the form of Apple founder Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs. ACTION figure. ACTION? Steve Jobs?

Diary of the Fearless Truth Seekers: The Week in Tabloids – The ‘Special Relationship’

October 14th, 2011 By Si Sharp

The British tabloids, and the Daily Mail in particular got to indulge in one of their favourite, and least pleasant, pastimes last week- the vilification of women.

The Mail seems to think that what its largely female readership want is to see?attractive young women demonised. Sadly they are probably onto something.

Sometimes you know?that what they really want to do is just feature pictures of?smiling girls?with ‘whores’ crudely drawn?over them in crayon.

Diary of the Fearless Truth Seekers: The Week in Tabloids- Animal Rights and Front Page Wrongs

October 6th, 2011 By Si Sharp

Tabloid editorial philosophy dictates that when a story is too good to be true, then not only is it?probably not, but it almost certainly won’t matter whether or not it is true.

Every so often a news story seems to tick so many of a newspaper?s boxes, but despite the exciting claims made in the headline, you find precious little information in the article itself that backs them up. Normally headlines are written after the story, but not always.

As long as the newspaper isn't libelling any specific group or individual, then there's nothing to lose except?their credibility.?Fortunately this?isn't a massive priority for tabloid newspapers [or us, in fairness, Ed.].

Diary of the Fearless Truth Seekers: The Week in Tabloids- Bloody Foreigners, Over Here, Nicking Our Wind

September 28th, 2011 By Si Sharp

Over the summer we had riots and phone hacking. Everything?s gone quiet now and we're left with the old bogeymen.

The Mail sees global warming as some kind of conspiracy that involves the BBC, the lib dems, Richard Dawkins and someone at a council who wants to rebrand Christmas as Winterval.

In fact on Monday they managed to combine a climate change story with another of their favourite topics when they discovered that wind turbines were immigrants (?Two thirds of the UK?s wind turbines are foreign-owned?).

Cliff Richard Jettisons Secretary From Private Jet At 25,000 Feet

July 5th, 2011 By Michael Park

Rock God Cliff Richard?has today admitted to pulling off the most incredible rock n’ roll stunt in history after throwing his secretary of 40 years from a jet cruising at 25,000 feet. The star of ‘Summer Holiday’ and ‘God, What A Terrible Calendar’ has been trying to shake off his ‘granny’s favourite’ tag by hanging out with Peaches Geldof & Ke$ha and was also spotted in a London nightspot challenging Daniel O’Donnell to a scrap.

It’s a sad decline for one of Britain’s best-loved celebrities. From the moment the last shutter sounded on the infamous calendar shoot of 2010, Sir?Cliff decided he still “had it” and wanted to attempt to break the world record for shagging his way around an issue of Grazia. He started by seducing Kelly Osbourne using the “I used to know your dad angle” but quickly moved on when he realised that he could never replace her dead dog.

The former detrimental presence in front of The Shadows was recently interviewed in The Sun where he claimed that his life of worship and abstinence meant that he could spend his twilight years pretending to be “f**king Jesus Christ himself” if he wanted to.