Hecklerspray is so poor it can't even afford paper plates. That's why this week, in its New York, Los Angeles and Rigby, Idaho offices, everyone's gonna try to somehow wrap their keyboards with enough paper towels and Saran Wrap to be able to use them as food platters. Believe it or not this works pretty good except for soup.
We did the keyboard thing last year too, but it was our first time and it didn't work so well. A pickle got wedged next to our exclamation point key, and we only got it out a month ago. That was like 11 months of apparent rage – we really weren't half as impassioned as we came across. Honest.
Someone who is that impassioned, apparently, is Miley Cyrus. She sees Britney Spears flailing all about publicly and whatnot, and she's gonna fix it. With turkey gravy. Because Britney Spears is going to Miley's for Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds like a fine idea until Hannah Montana's dad walks in and sees his daughter tricked into licking Cranberry sauce off an attention-starved Spears' squishy abs.
Brit'll be on her own this Christmas. Yup.
