Tim Minchin has had a pop at ITV after his live performance of satirical Christmas song WoodyAllenJesus was cut from last night’s Jonathan Ross show. For the first time in his life, he can feel like he’s some kind of modern day Bill Hicks.
Bill Hicks got a routine kicked off Letterman. Don’t you pillocks know anything?
Anyway, Minchin claims that the broadcaster’s director of television, Peter Fincham, removed the song “because he’s scared of the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way“. Fightin’ talk.
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hecklerspray’s been asked to guest-spot on Ugly Betty thousands of times, but we keep turning them down as none of the scripts featured us making love to the sun on the back of a saddled lion.
It’s our one requirement. You hear that Betty producers? Our ONE requirement!
Lindsay Lohan has also been asked to be on the show for a multi-episode arc. Although her part will probably be horribly written with no celestial/planetary love-making on top of tamed animals whatsoever, she took them up on it anyway. Now everyone on-set regrets offering her the part, and her six episode stint has been hacked down to four just to get her out the door a little faster.
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The Large Hadron Collider is switched on today, starting an experiment that could either unlock the universe or utterly destroy it – but forget that.
We can talk about the destruction of the universe any time we want. But today? Today something big has happened. Something huge. Something that will make a small-scale replication of The Big Bang look like a floury trump. People – Victoria Beckham has cut her hair.
We know, we know. Sit down. Breathe into a paper bag if it helps. Victoria Beckham has had a haircut and there’s nothing any of us can do about it. But it’s not just that Victoria Beckham cut her hair – it’s the fact that Victoria Beckham has cut her hair quite short. Remember this day well – one day your grandchildren will ask you what you were doing when you realised Victoria Beckham had cut her hair quite short.
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