custody - HecklerSpray

Tom Cruise Is The World’s Best Skype Daddy

November 8th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

Tom Cruise is gunning for Life & Style for coming out with a story about his crappy ass long distance parenting.? It’s pretty rare for a celebrity to go after a tabloid for printing shit about them that they deem untrue.? Usually the celeb in question comes out with a “That shit ain’t true!” statement or publicity stunt, and life goes on.? So for Cruise to take legal action is a pretty big deal.

Now to some, this may scream “He’s innocent!”? What it really means is that he’s got a buttload of money and a plethora of aliens behind him with even more money and at a certain point, everyone can be bought.? Shit, look at his last two marriages.

Charlie Sheen is Out For Blood

November 7th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

Charlie Sheen sort of calmed down the craziness for a while.? No more ranting about “WINNING!” or filling his house with?porn stars or?drinking dragon’s blood.? He quieted down, worked on his new show, spent time with his kids, and continued to sleep with one professional sex star at a time.

But shit’s going down now.? Sheen’s ex wife, Brooke Mueller, has been off the crack for more than 2 minutes so she is apparently fighting for more custody of their twins, and Sheen is not having it.? He’s calling Brooke out publicly for the hot mess that she is, and making weird creepy threats against her and the entire Department of Child and Family Services.

The twins are currently under the custody of Sheen’s other ex, Denise Richards.? Even Sheen knows that the former call girl turned his ex wife is more stable than either kid’s parent, which is just sad as shit.

Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Want To Carry On Taking Drugs, For Their Kids

July 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! You know how we thought that Charlie Sheen had gone boring and stopped taking all those lovely, mind-wrecking Class A drugs? Well, we might be in with a bit of luck here because it seems that he’s planning on consuming a lot more, which means he might go mental and die!

See, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have been piddling about with a custody agreement concerning some kids that no-one really gives two hoots about… and in this agreement, both have agreed that neither of this depressing duo should have to undergo random drug tests. Or organised drug tests. Or whatever other find of invasive, eye-watering drug tests there may be.

So are they both planning on being absolute drug wrecks, for the sake of their children? Well, mommy and daddy are awfully dull when they’re not throwing up their fix from the crackpipe or filled to the lid on coke while berating a chandelier.

Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Lock Horns In Custody Deal (LMAO)

March 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Staying to the common theme of the internet’s response to Charlie Sheen, this article may be a little repetitive in places, for which we can only apologise.

Anyway, here goes.

Hahahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Negotiations between Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller LOL LOOOOL LOL LOLMAO have broken down. PMSL HAHAHAHAHA! TIGER BLOOD! Apparently, Brooke is not happy that Charlie just can’t stop his mouth from saying things when she’s concerned about the welfare of her children HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Winning! Ooops. Sorry bro. PMSLMAO

Charlie Sheen’s Children Can’t Process His Life Of Winning And Tiger Blood

March 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Should we all continue to encourage Charlie Sheen to party his way into an early grave? It is becoming apparently that Sheen is reading online opinions of his antics and now enjoying the smell of his own farts a bit too much.

It was kinda funny watching Sheen strip away his Earthly dignity to reveal a solid gold innards with WIN written on it in tiger blood. Initially at least. Now, hecklerspray is getting a feeling that young women who like indie music must get all the time – now his exploits are becoming part of popular culture, it no longer feels like its ‘ours’ and we’re starting to feel unhappy about it all.

And while Sheen has crammed John Lennon’s two year ‘Lost Weekend’ into a matter of months, it seems that while we all will him on to fall from the tightrope, authorities and exes don’t see the thrills and spills of the show being particularly good for Chuck’s children.

Katie Price And Piers Morgan: A Perfect Reason To Blow Up Your TV!

July 10th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed.

Can you guess which side Katie Price (or “Jordan” if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or “Twat” if you prefer his real name) would fall into?

But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre’s evil ways?

Then it would be secret option three: you’re only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.