curvy women - HecklerSpray

Miley Cyrus Is A Great Big Dirty Stoner

November 28th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Teenage warbler and spawn of the devil (aka Billy Ray) Miley Cyrus, ?recently ‘fessed up to being the raging pothead we all suspected at her 19th birthday party in Los Angeles.

Guest included, Kelly Osbourne and Rumer Willis, boyfriend Liam Hemsworth and of course her parents who were probably out the back, line-dancing through the piles of money they’ve ?made from selling their child to the Disney factory.

Miley was presented with a Bob Marley cake and before devouring it face first, she gave a small speech, made up of words.

Miley Cyrus Enters ‘Curvy Women’ Debate And Obviously Hates Thin Women

November 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Apparently, Miley Cyrus has put on some weight. No-one actually cares, but y’know, when weight is mentioned around women, everyone starts shrieking like someone just revealed a semtex waistcoat.

Some trollers, trying (successfully) to get a rise, pointed out that Miley had put some pounds on and thought it might be funny to call her ‘fat’.

Of course, Miley Cyrus isn’t fat. However, she does hate skinny women and wandered ever closer to the idiot arena of ‘real women have curves’. Get that thin ladies? You’re body shape is sexless compared to that of someone with a bit of an arse. HURRAY!

Quite Thin Daisy Lowe Will Never Be A Beanpole, Alright?

June 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Oh! How inspirational Daisy Lowe is! She’s got ‘curves’, which is the catch-all phrase for women who are, essentially, very fat. Curves in the model sense, of course, means a shapely figure as opposed to two curves, each starting at the neck and arcing outward, tapering in at the ankle.

Anyway, with her ‘curves’, Daisy is a thumb in the eye for all those waif-like models who are, we’re told, not ‘real women’, and as such, must be ‘imaginary’. Either way, they’re all very willing to take their clothes off in arty photoshoots, allowing men and women to objectify them all the same.

Of course, ‘real women’ are, we’re constantly reminded, better than thin women. Naturally, we have to scrutinise the bodies of every single one of them to decide what it is we think of them, ultimately ending in applause for Lowe because she’s rather thin as opposed to really thin. And she’s now happy with her equally unattainable shape, for which we must show our endless gratitude.