Cult - HecklerSpray

Cult Responsible for Michelle Pfeiffer’s Timeless Sex Appeal

November 4th, 2013 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Michelle Pfeiffer has always been a personal hero of mine. She’s forever sexy, she showed all other bitches how Catwoman was done (go cry about it, Anne Hathaway), and she starred in the cinematic gem “Grease 2.”

She’s always seemed so down to Earth and cool, so I was pretty surprised when she revealed that in her early years as an actress she was actually in a sort of health and diet cult (or what you and I would now simply call “Living in the Western World.”)

In a new interview for the UK’s Sunday Telegraph Stella magazine, the Oscar nominated, 55-year-old (and still hot as ever) actress discusses her time in this weird personal training cult (yes this is a real thing).

Tom Cruise Gives Simon Pegg Child Rearing Tips While Scientology Klaxon Goes Mental

December 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

On the set of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Tom Cruise thought he’d go and do a nice thing for Simon Pegg – talk to him like he knew who he was. And what did they talk about? What any celebrity would talk about of course!

Soiled undercrackers!

That’s right. Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg talked about nappies, teaming with faecal matter while playing make-believe like big, hairy and very stupid children. Meanwhile, everyone else presumably looked on wondering if Cruise was trying to recruit someone for Scientology because he’s bang into that alien guff isn’t he?

Tom Cruise Says Top Gun 2 Is In The Works, Hoping We’ll Forget About All That Scientology Business

December 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Tom Cruise took off as Maverick in Top Gun over 25 years ago and now, in a bid to distract us from his peculiar religious/cult* views, he’s saying that he might be taking to the air again in Top Gun 2.

Obviously, Hollywood is clean out of fresh ideas at the moment.

Cruise is currently promoting his fourth Mission: Impossible film, and he’s told MTV that there’s been discussions with Top Gun director Tony Scott and producer Jerry Bruckheimer about revisiting the film which Quentin Tarantino thinks is about being gay.

Suri Cruise Is Writing A Book – We Hope It’s Her Autobiography

November 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The celebrity autobiography is a funny thing. For example, Geri Halliwell has fourteen of them out and Katie Price, a whopping 5,460 biographies written in her best joined-up handwriting. Even Justin Bieber has three biogs out, even though he’s only a matter of weeks old.

And so, the next kid to get a book deal is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ daughter, Suri, and she’s only five years old!

Five years old! She can barely wipe her own hoon, let alone manipulate a quill. Still, maybe daddy’s alien friends can give her secret powers to overcome that little obstacle called age?

Scientologists Sent Mole To Spy On South Park Creators Because They Like Comedy So Much

October 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Scientology hasn’t really taken off around the world. That’s because, despite having a foot in the world of entertainment, it really lacks any semblance of humour. Effectively, Scientologists are humour vacuums.

Have you seen they way they’re absolutely unhappy to talk about their religion? Surely you gotta face some persecution to be a proper religious person, right? It’s all about getting called an idiot and seeking strength from your god… or in the case on Scientology followers, A.L.F. or whatever it is they pray to/obtain people’s PIN numbers for.

Of course, anyone who mocks them incurs immediate wrath. So you can imagine that they’re not too thrilled with the off-hand way in which South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone dealt with them. As a result, one former member of the cult (don’t worry about the ‘cult’ tag – we think Christianity is a stupid cult too) says that the church sent someone to spy on them.

Jay And Silent Bob To Tour The UK With Live Show, Right?

September 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes made millions of stoners chuckle nacho crumbs into their bellybuttons are their alter-egos Jay and Silent Bob. Littered with pop-culture and sci-fi references, they were always going to achieve cult-herodom.

And now, you’ll get to slap your glazed eyeballs on them in the flesh as they’ve announced a tour of the UK this February.

They’ll be performing the successful comedy podcast Jay and Silent Bob Get Old right before your very eyes. It’ll be like Charlie Sheen’s tour, only good.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Claude Vorilhon, The Guy Who Had Dinner With Jesus & Moses And Then Effed Some Robots

July 25th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

If we said it once we said it a million times – the main problem of most modern religion is none of them are making sex-bots for the masses to enjoy with full biblical immunity. Seriously, we think about that every Christmas.

Enter then Claude Vorilhon, a Frenchman now known as Rael. He founded a religious movement, and although he doesn’t actually manufacture busty lady robots in slit-sided mini skirts and little to no moral programming, he does know where we can find them.

Surprising hint: It’s not Japan.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: The Book Of Oahspe

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Some people say they’d be more religious if the Bible wasn’t written on such old, thin, flimsy paper, while others cite the need for more pictures contained therein.

Well if that’s how you feel, we’ve good news for you. The Book Of Oahspe is only about 127 years old, and its packed full of pictures “drawn” by angels themselves.

Top 10 Cult Classic Mid-80s Fantasy Adventure Flicks

September 20th, 2012 By hecklerspray staff

As any nostalgic 25 – 30 year old will tell you the mid-80s were a truly magical cinematic time for any kid to grow up in. In the wake of George Lucas? original Star Wars trilogy, we were bombarded with a cluster of imaginative, mystical live-action fantasy adventure films, which eagerly promoted a genuine sense of mischievous fun and adventure.

Tales of typically normal excitable youngsters going on epic adventures that lifted the heart stirred the soul and haunted our dreams. But it was the palpable sense of adventure that really convinced, giving us youngsters an achievable sense of daydream adventure – long before the internet or Xbox-claimed adolescent imagination.

Why the mid-80s? Give us another span of time where there was an equally audacious flux of films that dared to lift the lid on Pandora?s Box to capture our imagination and fiendishly tape into our most primal kiddie fears? So forget the CGI-bloated likes of Harry Potter, Golden Compass and the new Narnia adventures and let us divulge to you hecklerspray?s definitive Top 10 Cult Classic Fantasy Adventure Flicks from the Mid-80s…