Sean Penn knows that he could make a film about a trumping monkey and it'd win all sorts of awards for its brave vision and the universal resonance of a monkey-fart as an allegory to the human condition.

But so far this awards season, something has been up. The Sean Penn-directed Into The Wild hasn't been winning any awards, with all the gongs instead either going to There Will Be Blood or No Country For Old Men. Worried that Sean Penn is losing his magical touch? Don't be – the annual Critics' Choice award nominations have been revealed and Into The Wild has smashed itself into contention, getting nods for Best Picture, Best Actor and Best Director, along with four others. However, it should be noted that the Critics' Choice awards also gave five nominations to Hairspray, so there's every chance that the voting panel is made up of buck-toothed idiots.

When it comes to awards, there's nothing that voters like more than performances so intense that you the think the actor is going to throw up or get a nosebleed or poo themselves at the climax of each scene they're in.

And nobody does that better that Sean Penn, a man so award-friendly that he may as well be suspended above the stage for the duration of the next Oscars while audience-members pelt him relentlessly with golden statuettes until he passes out from all the glory.

But Sean Penn hasn't starred in any films this year, so what are award voters supposed to do? Simple, they'll find whatever he has done and throw awards at that instead. That could be the reason why the French animation Persepolis – featuring the voice talents of one S. Penn – has been routinely beating the likes of Ratatouille in the awards announced so far, and it could also explain all the Critics' Choice award nominations for Into The Wild.

Up until now, awards season has been dominated by two films – There Will Be Blood, which won big at the LA Film Critics association awards, and No Country For Old Men, which has won a raft of New York Film Critics Circle and National Board Of Review awards.

That left no room for Into The Wild – a intense, soul-searching film about, um, the wild and shit – until now. The Critics' Choice awards have nominated Into The Wild for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Director, Best Writer and Best Song, for a song by Pearl Jam which makes us wonder if we should perhaps ask for a recount.

Into The Wild has edged out its closest competitor teenage pregnancy comedy Juno, which received six Critics' Choice nominations. Other highly nominated movies included Atonement, Michael Clayton, No Country For Old Men and Hairspray, with five nominations apiece.

This would normally be the point where we listed all the Critics' Choice award nominations in full but if, like us, all this punishing onslaught of movie awards and nominations is making you wish that film had never been invented and that we should all just waggle coloured rags tied to sticks around for entertainment in the future, you'd probably prefer it if we just linked to them instead.

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Critics' Choice Award Nominations