creepy - HecklerSpray

Justin Bieber Makes Creepy Perfume That Smells Like Peed On Sheets

May 25th, 2011 By Amy Grindhouse

Justin Bieber is really making it too easy to make jokes about him at this point. With a preternaturally smooth face that screams androgyny as much as it does ‘Please slap me,’ he’s released everything from nail polish to a women’s scent. If, by ‘women,’ he meant the people who paid for their tickets to see his movie entirely in 10 pence pieces.

The only thing slightly more preposterous than the release of quite so many concurrent women’s products is that book and movie deal – with so many trips to rehab and love children with other people’s wives under his belt, heck, he’s got one story to tell.

Except, oh. None of that ever happened. His entire story is based on closet lesbianism and a stupid shiny face. Nothing more.

Bid For Justin Bieber’s Bonce On Ebay

February 25th, 2011 By Kris Silver

Squeaky clean pop annoyance Justin Bieber recently had a haircut, which was front-page news almost everywhere, even here on hecklerspray. The news of his haircut sent shockwaves around the world, with sexually confused 12 year olds and slightly creepy 40 somethings everywhere begging to know why he'd chopped his famous $500 fringe off.

Naturally it's all rather ridiculous, it's only some hair after all, it'll grow back, you do know that, right?

What's even more ridiculous to the furore over Bieber?s bonce is the fact that you can now buy the hair he had lopped off. That's right, you can buy Bieber?s former barnet covering, if you have $7,000 to spare that is.

WEBTHUMP! Friday 21 November 2008

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – Is this genius or utterly punchworthy? We say – both!

9 – Creepy – Davidshrigley

8 – More weird facts than you can count – Bitworks

7 – This is what your desktop does behind your back – Iconwar

6 – What were the 25 most censored stories of 2007? Now you know – Projectcensored

5 – Analyse your handwriting! Do it now! – TUL

4 – Communist Mario will see you now – 88by31

3 – You know what we need? A list of unusual deaths – Wikipedia

Uma Thurman’s Stalker Really Creepy, Just Not Illegally So

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Jack Jordan, you’ve let us down. All that time you were stalking Uma Thurman in a number of imaginatively creepy ways, we thought you were being illegal.

And now your lawyer is saying that you weren’t being illegal in an effort to keep you out of jail? That is very disappointing, Jack Jordan. Very disappointing indeed.

But on the plus side, if Jack Jordan is acquitted of his Uma Thurman stalking charges, it basically means that we’re all legally free to send the object of our obsession terrifying hand-drawn pictures of ourselves walking along a razorblade while they eeirly dig our graves. Good lord, Martine McCutcheon had better hope that Jack Jordan is found guilty.