You know when you accidentally open a letter addressed to your partner and then pretend it was for you all along rather than admit to it?

We get the feeling that Ellen DeGeneres does, because she’s just been named as the new face of CoverGirl. That’s right. Ellen DeGeneres. Not Ellen’s beautiful former model of a girlfriend Portia De Rossi. Ellen DeGeneres. She’s the new face of CoverGirl. That letter was definitely addressed to her. Not Portia. Her. Shut up.

Actually, we’re just kidding. Ellen DeGeneres is going to make a perfect face of CoverGirl. What’s more, the CoverGirl job is going to look just great on Ellen’s modelling portfolio, alongside her shoots as the face of Northumbria NHS Trust’s colorectal unit and her brief stint as Miss Frozen Animal Tripe 1995.

For all our jokes, we actually like Ellen DeGeneres. In fact, it’s safe to say that if were American and unemployed, then The Ellen DeGeneres Show would definitely be the thing we’d watch to distract us from the crushing misery of our horrible lives.

The show seems to have worked out well for Ellen DeGeneres as well. Because of it she got to host the Oscars, managed to pick up a girlfriend who’s so far out of her league that it barely seems possible and accidentally abuse her position of power by inadvertently causing her viewers to send death threats to animal hospice workers.

But that’s not the best part, because the show has also meant that Ellen DeGeneres now gets to be a model. A proper model for a real cosmetics firm. Ellen recently told the audience of her show that she’s the new face of CoverGirl, which sounds impressive even though we don’t really know what that means. People reports:

“I am the new face of CoverGirl.” Striking an exaggerated model-like pose, DeGeneres then explains, “That’s the first thing they teach you when you’re a CoverGirl.” With her commercials for the makeup giant due to be shot soon and then debut after the first of the year, DeGeneres says, “We were going to let you know [in January], but somehow people found out about it.”

It’s a shame that a handful of internet losers had to go and spoil the big surprise, isn’t it. Imagine if CoverGirl had managed to keep it a secret right up until the big reveal in January – what a reaction they’d have got! It would have basically been the exact same feeble shrug you gave a minute ago when you realised that Ellen DeGeneres was going to be the new face of CoverGirl… but in January! It would have been classic, really.

But anyway, this could really be the start of something big for Ellen DeGeneres. By landing a modelling job at CoverGirl, she’s joining an exalted group of beauties who’ve also worked for the company including Christie Brinkley, Brandy and Drew Barrymore.

Obviously that means that Ellen DeGeneres needs to up her game immediately if she wants to fit in with that group. We suggest that Ellen goes out today and either starts a car crash that kills someone, becomes a teenage cocaine addict or marries someone who spends $3000 a month on pornography. She wouldn’t want to let the company down, would she.