Despite what happens onscreen, the real super-powers that Heroes stars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia have are grossly unpronounceable surnames and an almost epic level of adorability.

And, like the old saying goes, adorability loves adorability. That's why Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia are totally doing it with each other. That's not exactly news - a relationship between the two of them has been rumoured for months - but with the news that Milo has met Hayden's grandparents, it looks like things have just become official. Sweet, no? So sweet that we're almost able to overlook the fact that Milo Ventimiglia is 30 years and Hayden Panettiere is just 18 and that's a little tiny bit creepy.

Almost.

So Kevin Federline has finally moved on from Britney Spears - except that he seems to have moved on to Paris Hilton, which isn't so much 'moving on' as 'doing something especially turd-brained'.

Not that Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton are doing anything particularly romantic in public, of course - at the moment the pair of them have only set tongues wagging by talking to each other in Las Vegas nightclubs two nights in a row. However, given the difficulty that they both have forming even rudimentary sentences without getting nosebleeds from concentrating too hard, we should obviously take this fact alone as a sign that Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton are doing it and in love and want to get married right away. Even if none of that is true. 

But let's just assume that it is true, because it's January 2 and bugger all else has happened today.

Pop quiz, kids. Pencils at the ready...  

Question: what do you do to generate buzz about yourself when you are a big-time celebrity who has fallen out of the spotlight, and hasn’t accomplished anything press worthy for quite a while?  

Answer: Why, you strike up the most unlikely, brow raising, gag reflex-stimulating romance you can think of, like the one between Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen that seems to be brewing. No, really. It looks as if it's true.

We also would have accepted an answer of ‘ewwwwww’.