Articles tagged with: country
You know what we like in an entertainer? The wild hope that wearing a big hat will cover for an overwhelming lack of charisma. And we're not the only ones, because Kenny Chesney - a man with a big hat and hardly any charisma - has just won the CMA Entertainer Of The Year award for the fourth time in five years, making him officially the most entertaining country singer ever born. Except for Garth Brooks. He's equally entertaining. This must count as one of Kenny Chesney's proudest moments. Now he can look back on all the other country singers of the past and know he's more entertaining than them. He's more entertaining than Billy Shooter, Old Jeb Clovercleb, Whistlin' Jimmy McFormaldahide, Redeyes O'Murderer and even, in a controversial twist, Barefoot Bobby And The Pregnant Mistakes. Congratulations, Kenny Chesney. You earnt this.
Now that Jessica Simpson's much-hyped acting career is lying twitching in the gutter, Jessica can now go back to her first love. No, wait - Jessica Simpson's first love is cacky reality TV shows that exploit her personal relationships with others, isn't it? OK, well in that case Jessica Simpson has gone back to her second love - music. And not just any music, either - Jessica Simpson has gone country, and she's marked the occasion with a concert at a festival in Wisconsin. But sadly, Jessica Simpson's country concert didn't go down well with the locals, who booed and jeered her for not being country enough. Now, if she'd have smashed her teeth up real bad and had sex with a blood relative beforehand, it would have been a different story altogether.
Country music is scientifically proven to turn people into violent, woman-beating drunks - or is it just that only violent wife-beating drunks like country music?
Maybe we'll never know for sure, but let's forget the history for a moment and just laugh at the fat, allegedly woman-beating rednecks who go to country music concerts. Like the fat, allegedly woman-beating redneck who country star Tim McGraw hauled up onstage and ejected from a show in Washington on Tuesday night.
Best of all, there's video footage of the incident. An obnoxious fat cowboy who's too fat to be lifted off the ground by three other obnoxious cowboys? Sounds perfect, doesn't it? It's not - the video's got a country music soundtrack. Bleugh.
We've come to realise that it's just a matter of time before Miley Cyrus has us all in the iron grip of a malevolent dictatorship now.
Why? Well, as if having a top-rated TV show, a number one movie and a bunch of chart-topping albums, isn't enough, now it's been revealed that Miley Cyrus is going to host the CMT awards.
You heard correctly - Miley Cyrus is going to host this year's CMT awards. The world's third-biggest country and western-themed awards show. It doesn't get much bigger than that. Apart from the world's second-biggest country and western-themed awards show, or the world's first-biggest country and western-themed awards show. Or any other awards show at all. Is there no stopping this Miley Cyrus woman?
