And just when we thought Alex Reid’s career couldn’t sink any lower… he announces that he’s due to tour the country and strip off in front of hundreds of people night after night.

Fresh from getting engaged to, and talking about wanting babies with, fellow former Celebrity Big Brother alumna Chantelle Houghton, Alex has announced that he’s due to star in the play, yes someone’s actually cast him in a play, Wildboyz.

And people say that theatre is too high-brow.

Other stars of the show, about a group of lads who decide to become strippers, you know, like in that film with Robert Carlisle, will include Danny Young, who played Warren in Corrie, Marcus Patrick a.k.a. Ben Davies from Hollyoaks and Dale Howard, from… erm… Big Brother.

This has Olivier Award written all over it.

Wildboyz is due to grace the towns of Stevenage, Bradford, Leicester, Skegness, Colchester, Plymouth, Newcastle and Margate. And while there are no immediate plans for a West End run we here at hecklerspray are certain that Messrs Reid, Patrick, Young and Howard will be treading the boards at the Victoria, Apollo or Gielgud in no time.

Whether the theatre will be open that day or not will be another matter.

The show has been described, by the people who have been paid to lie about how good it is, as:

A hysterical tease from the beginning to its spectacular climax, lifting the lid on the world of celebrity, with audience participation, guaranteeing not a dry seat in the house.

Not a dry seat? Are the audience all going to void the bowels with shame after being subjected to Alex Reid’s acting talent?

That’s REALLY selling it to us.

One thing remains certain at least, even with pictures like the one below floating around, there’s not much of a chance of Alex or the rest of the Wildboyz being signed by Katie Price.

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Austria has unleashed some utterly famous people upon the world. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s brilliant quote about bodybuilding and coming still makes laugh to this day due to its totally stupidity

Then there’s Falco’s slamming anthem Rock Me Amadeus - a particular drunken favourite of ours and also the first Austrian number one single in the UK.

However, for every good Austrian apple like Arnie and Falco, there are a few cunts. One in particular would be Adolf Hitler, and now there’s a new cunt from Austria – Josef Fritzl. His disgusting antics nearly caused a plotline from Corrie to be pulled as one character faces being locked in the cellar. We aren’t clear if any incest was planned. Could you imagine Gail and David together? Eww

This isn’t the first time that real life events have gone and messed up film and TV shows. Hide and seek champion Madeleine McCann spoiled Ben Affleck’s film Gone Baby Gone - about a girl going missing. Crikey, that’s never been done before for a film! *cough* Man On Fire *cough*

EastEnders has also had to hastily rejig storylines too. Once again, the on going hunt for Madeleine McCann freaked out producers due to similarities between real life happenings and a plot which is made up, not real and only believed by morons

This time, however, we are happy to report Madeleine hasn’t got in the way of a programme. Instead, it’s the newest cunt of Austria and the world – Josef Fritzl, the lovely man who imprisoned his child in a secret cellar for 24 years

Cellars are great places for storylines. EastEnders started the trend when Dirty Den was killed and buried in the Queen Vic. And now we’ve just spotted a desperate attempt from Corrie to do the same thing as their soap rival. But it did nearly go tits up when the details of the Josef Fritzl case emerged. However, since the Coronation Street plot didn’t call for anyone with sinister facial hair to repeatedly get their daughter pregnant against her will, they’ve just decided to leave it in

Spoilers below or something in case you give a toss. Digital Spy reports

Producers have now given the go-ahead and viewers will see Dan (Matthew Crompton) locked in the cellar of the Rovers with a punctured lung after a fight with landlord Steve McDonald (Simon Gregson).

What a relief to know that while we curl up on our sofas we can watch a man slowly die in front of us. Family viewing at its best. Who said British TV was dumbing down?

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Corrie’s cellar plot to go ahead – Digital Spy